Angry Craig

Stop SOPA

2012-01-14T02:43:00.001-06:00

SOPA and PIPA are up for votes soon in the Senate and House respectively. If you don't follow politics I'll try to explain these bills succinctly. If they pass and any major corporation says a website is hosting copyright materials the federal government will block access to the website across the US. They will require no proof. There will be no hearing. It will simply redirect to a page explaining what terrible assholes the website must be owned by. If you think it won't affect you because you buy your pirated movies at the barber shop, then you're wrong. Videos on Youtube containing music will either be banned or the Youtube will go dark. Even if Google somehow figured out how to block just those videos it wouldn't matter. Viacom just has to claim a particular video contains copyright material and the entire site will be gone. People in China will still be able to watch cat videos until armageddon, but here in the land of the free we will be behind a great firewall of greed.

https://action.eff.org/o/9042/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=8173

Edit:
I just found out that the provision to block access was removed from SOPA, but I believe it's still in PIPA. And both will still stop a website from accepting payments. So Viacom could kill Wikipedia the day after this gets approved.

Joe Paterno

2011-11-11T16:20:00.001-06:00

Watching all this coverage if the Penn State abuse scandal is really starting to piss me off. He is being blamed for doing his job. He, as a coach, can't legally do more than he did. He wasn't a witness to any of the abuse so he couldn't go to the police. Coaches, like teachers, are only allowed certain courses of action in suspected abuse. The people above him clearly failed to do their jobs. You know who else failed? The asshole who saw the abuse. As a witness he should've gone straight to the police. Instead he told Paterno, and that's it. Guess what he's doing now? Coaching Penn State. How is that fair?

Steve Jobs was just a guy

2011-10-06T04:19:00.001-05:00

I'm sad Steve Jobs is dead, in the same way I'm sad when anyone dies. I'm sad for his friends and family. But please internet stop acting like some great human being died.

Jobs was not a genius nor an innovator, except in marketing. Apple stole, or at least ripped off everything that made the Mac different from Xerox. They weren't the first to make an MP3 player. Or the first to use a click wheel in a music player. They didn't make the first smartphone, I had been using a smartphone for years before the iPhone was announced. Hell the iPhone copied the Newton in many ways, which crashed and burned while Jon Scully was CEO.

Apple even has terrible business practices. They continually violated their agreements with Apple Music, the holders of the Beatles catalog. The company that makes all of their icrap, Foxconn, has one of the worst track records in China for exploiting their own workers. Read that again. They are terrible even by Chinese standards. That is like being the least talented Kardashian. They also live suing anyone. They sued Be out of business, founded by a long time Apple employee. They sued several companies that made all in one PCs that looked vaguely like the first iMacs. They announced the iPhone they didn't own the name, Cisco did. They were in negotiations for the name and Apple walked away the day before the announcement. Forcing Cisco to capitulate since they didn't want to fight it out in court. Hell when they decided to upgrade their OS they took the open source BSD and just slapped crap on top of it. None of it illegal, all of it shitty. And all of it under Jobs'watch.

Clearly I'm no Apple fan, but they do deserve some credit. The iPhone helped make smartphones more user friendly and lead to the current spec war we're all benefiting from. And the app store was a great idea. They did it to get a cut of everything sold for the iPhone. That's also why they changed the iPod, to maximize app profits. His real genius was marketing. He convinced millions of people that the iPod was revolutionary, and he did it again with the iPhone and the iPad.

He didn't invent anything, Steve Wozniak made the first Apple. He wasn't a genius. He didn't change the world. He was a successful businessman. That's it. Now please remove his cock from your collective mouth internet.

I forgot to mention I got so sick of every fucking idiot on Twitter acting like the savior of humanity just died that I quit Twitter. I didn't just quit twitter, I deleted my account.

Budget "debates" and how to fix the US

2011-07-27T12:56:00.000-05:00

Why the fuck is it that the first thing off the table in every single one of these cases is raising the taxes of the wealthy? I knew they had the real power in this country but to be this god damn blatant about it is amazing. If they did what they've always done, let taxes get raised and then dodge them with shelters and shell companies and the like they could keep their precious gold but not give the rest of us a reason to arm ourselves with pitchforks and hunt them the fuck down. This type of shit is seriously how Socialism comes about by force, the rich not just flaunting their wealth but acting like it's their fucking birthright to rule over us poor stupid peasants.

What I really don't understand is why so many non-rich always seem to support the agenda of the rich. Wake the fuck up you retarded assholes, you will never be rich so you don't have to worry about protecting your future. As if the rich need protecting. Don't like paying taxes? Move to the Caymen Islands. Stanley tools did it in name only and hasn't paid taxes in decades. Hell if you're rich enough you already don't pay taxes, just look at General Electric.

Which reminds me, if low taxes are the road to job creation why is it GE is actually shedding jobs when they didn't pay a single cent in taxes. Maybe Trickle Down Economics is bullshit believed only by the rich and their lackeys. But that can't be, it's worked so well to eliminate our debts as a nation since it was implemented under Reagan. Oh wait no, our national debt has done nothing but get worse since that rotten piece of lying shit took office and slashed taxes on his rich buddies. And slashed spending on everything from healthcare for veterans to road repairs. Way to go Ronnie!

The truth is our infastructure is crumbling, we're in 2 massive foreign wars with a side order of war in Libya, we need jobs today and medicare/medicaid is costing us an arm and a leg for what it's giving us. The solutions are simple, but will never happen.

Raise taxes on the rich and corporations to their pre Reagan levels. This would generate much more than the 1.4 trillion that would be raised if we went to pre W levels, I don't have an exact number but I wouldnt' be surprised if it was at least twice as much.

Leave Iraq and Afghanistan, not send some of the troops home and leave tens of thousands of overpaid contractors. Stop this bullshit action in Libya, sorry but we shouldn't be involved.

Cut pentagon spending in half. This would be the first real cut to Pentagon spending in decades, hell when Obama wanted to limit the increase it was fucking called a cut. We should cut weapon program spending while raising the wage and benefits of all service personel. And of course increase the GI Bill since it will currently buy you 1 new textbook and a 10 pack of blank CDs. The only things they want to cut are the benefits for veterans, which is one of the few things they spend money on even a "commie" like myself can get behind.

Start the largest program of infastructure projects since the Great Depression. That crisis gave the country an opportunity to build its infastructure will all those unemployed, this crisis can do the same. Replace bridges, convert roads from blacktop to concrete, lay down fiber to replace existing phone and internet lines. Think about it, newer bridges would be safer and would cause less wear and tear on vehicles. Concrete roads need repair less than asphalt especially in places like Minnesota where the air temperature varies by as much as 130 degrees a year. Our internet service is the joke of the modern world, we pay more for less than any other first world nation. In Japan they pay $20 a month for 50 megs a second, we pay $55 a month for 20 megs a second. Improved internet, at lower prices, makes it easier for small businesses to compete with big ones. It also makes telecommuting possible for more people. Which would save them and their employer money, not to mention the environment some wear and tear.

Nationalize healthcare. If you look at Canada and all of Western Europe they spend less per capita on healthcare than we do, by a lot. If we had a system like Canada's we could all get healthcare for what we spend on medicare/medicaid. Let me say that again, if we had a system like Canada's we could all get healthcare for what we spend on medicare/medicaid. Every cent we spend beyond that would stay in our pockets. This would benefit people already have health care and corporations as much as it would benefit people without healthcare. It would also ensure that the elderly don't have to choose between eating or buying medicine. It would also let those people who have mental health issues get help, because currently only the rich can afford to get it. And generally their problems are minor compared to those who really need help.

Spend more on education. College is too expensive, you shouldn't spend your first 10 years out of college paying it off. And that is if you can qualify for the loans to go in the first place. Also high schools should better prepare students for college. The only way to do that is to stratify the students. I know many educators and parents think different levels is wrong, but under the current system the smart students are forced to go at a pace so slow they lose all interest in school and if they try to go to college don't have the habits required to be a success. And the slowest students still can't keep up. If you break the students into groups based on what speed is right for them then you can give help to the kids who need it while giving the more capable kids the chance to thrive. But the only way to do this without creating knowledge ghettos is to be willing to spend the money. You have to figure out how to get everyone to perform to the best of their abilities. But to do that you need to figure out what that is. And as self serving as this will sound since I want to go into teaching you have to give teachers a reason to stay teaching. Pay them more and give them better benefits. Because honestly teachers can make more money running training programs for corporations than they can teaching the future of this country, and that makes me fucking sangry.

To finish off my Utopian vision lets also create good homeless shelters with job training programs. Create factory jobs by taxing the fuck out of foreign imports, and help stop gun violence by making hand guns, assault rifles of all kinds and certain types of ammo illegal. We should also increase funding for police forces, fire departments and libraries while making it illegal for the public to fund sports stadiums for professional sports teams.

Exactly none of this will happen, but all of it should.

Donald Trump is a racist asshole

2011-04-29T04:12:00.002-05:00

Well that pretty much says it all. Goodnight.

Fucking athletes

2011-03-25T17:08:00.000-05:00

In the new ESPN the Magazine they asked a bunch of athletes how they felt about paying taxes. Not surprisingly most of these millionaires acted like we stole a kidney.

Peter Budaj (Avalanche goalie) "Five. We know we have to pay a lot, and I do what I have to do, I just look the other way when I sign." Go play in Canada and they'll take a more deserving cut out of your millions made for crouching. Better yet I hope you've squandered your money so you can face financial problems when you retire. Asshole.

Adam Jones (Orioles CF) "Three. If it went to a good cause I'd be happy. But our tax money goes to lazy people who don't want to work." What the fuck do you know about work? You play a fucking game for a living. And get paid millions to do it. Fuck you. And btw you Fox News watching moron "entitlement" programs are a small fraction of the budget. The military gets the bulk of it. But hey if you hate poor people I hope when rich assholes like you cut funding to the programs that help them pay for food or medicine for their families they take your shit. And I really hope you act like a bad ass and get killed trying to prevent them from stealing your platinum cross so they can sell it and feed their kids.

Jason Kubel (Twins RF) "Two. It's hard to watch half my money go away." You know what was hard for me? PAYING FOR THAT FUCKING STADIUM YOU MILLIONAIRES PLAY IN. I got to help pay for a stadium I can't afford to go to. Just so a billionaire can get more money and you millionaires can play in a nicer park. Meanwhile the park in my neighborhood where children play has to keep cutting services because rich assholes like you see playtime for kids as worthless. BTW you should just be happy you're playing when you are, you make more than Puck, Killebrew, Oliva and Carew ever made combined. You lucky piece of shit.

Coco Miller (Atlanta Dream G) "Four. I definitely would like to see less taken out that's for sure." First of all you don't even have a real first name. Second of all your league and sport matter so little that had to mention what city your team is in so that readers might have an inkling of what the fuck you do. And third, simply fuck off. You also play in tax funded stadiums that the tax payers will never be reimbursed for.

David Ortiz (Red Sox DH) "Seven. At least here I see what they do with my millions. In the DR you don't know where the money goes." Not only does your answer show you understand taxes, but it illustrates how efficient our government is at using those taxes for tangible things compared to some countries.

Zach Randolph (Grizzlies F) "Ten. I feel up and down about it, but ultimately it feels good to give back to the country." You sir have a new fan. That is the attitude I have too. Kudos.

Will Witherspoon (Titans LB) "Five. Nobody likes to pay taxes, but we hate the IRS more! They're the last people yoou want at your door." I do not hate they IRS. If it wasn't for them rich assholes like you wouldn't pay your taxes. Which is exactly what you implied would happen if the threat of audit was taken away. I want the IRS to get more money so they can do more audits so rich fuckers pay their share. But I also wish their share would go up to what it was before Reagan fucked up the tax system in the 1980s.

Winky Wright (Boxing Middleweight) "One. It breaks my hearts. I give all that money and Uncle Sam doesn't do anything for me." Really dumbass? Who built those roads connecting your mansion to the airport you fly out of to your next fight? The government. Who built that airport? The government. Who ultimately makes sure the arena you fight in was built safely and maintained properly? The government. Who do you turn to when your manager fucks you out of money? The government. Who ran the schools you went to until you apparently decided a 3rd grade education was all you needed? The government. Be glad you can make a lucrative living do a sport no one fucking cares about any more and shut the fuck up.

The next time one of you rich pricks has to pay a check to the government for your taxes think of all the children it will help. How it might give them they only hot meal they'll have that day. Or allow them to go to the doctor if they're sick. Or give them an education so they can do something productive with their lives. And if you still don't want to pay your taxes I really hope there is a hell so you can fucking rot there.

I fucking hate Sony

2011-03-14T04:48:00.000-05:00

Just a quick rant this morning.

I fucking hate Sony. I have a PSP and for that PSP I have a 16gb Memory Stick Pro Duo. First of all the fact that they insist on having their own memory card format is retarded. Fuji did the same thing and then realized, "Shit this is dumb as fuck" lets switch to the fucking standard that is SD. I've gotten over that stupidity, mostly, what bothers me more is they keep changing the fucking format.

As designed Memory Sticks were too fucking large, physically, to be useful. So they made the Memory Stick Select, it had a little slider switch to switch between two banks of memory to get around a size limit issue. Then they brought out the Memory Stick Pro, its basically a faster memory stick that fixes the size issue. Not all devices supported it. Then Sony realized, oh shit this thing is still too fucking big to fit in smaller devices. So they developed the Memory Stick Duo, this little gem has one glaring flaw, it reintroduced that size limit issue. Thats right they fixed one issue just to bring back another one. Good work Sony! To fix that fuck up they released the Memory Stick Pro Duo, thankfully it kept the same form factor and works with anything that will take a Memory Stick Duo. But they weren't done. They introduced the Memory Stick Pro-HG Duo. Its exactly the same, only faster.

Wow thats 7 versions, mostly they work with anything with adapters. They must be done, right? Wrong. Months before the Memory stick Pro-HG Duo was announced it's replacement was announced. Huh? Yes thats right in February of 2006 they announced the Memory Stick Micro (M2). They didn't announce the Memory Stick Pro-HG Duo until November of 2006. The M2 isn't really the replacement for the Memory Stick Pro Duo, it's meant to compete with MicroSD cards in cellphones. Of course the only phones they ever worked in were Sony Ericson phones so...The M2 then came in Memory Stick XC Micro and Memory Stick XC-HG Micro. What the fuck is XC? Well XC is what they call their higher capacity cards that use a different file system (exFAT vs FAT16 or FAT32 for the regular cards). You can also get Memory Stick Pro Duo XC cards. Almost last but not least there is Mark2, thats what they put on all cards that support a certain minimum transfer rate.

Sadly that clusterfuck isn't even why I hate Sony. I hate Sony because they don't even make the best cards for their format. If I pop my 16gb Sony branded Memory Stick Pro Duo into my non-Sony reader it gets about 700k a second transfer rate. If I hook it up through my PSP, wasting juice, it works at about 8mb a second, not great but I can deal. If I take my brother's 32gb Lexar branded Memory Stick Pro Duo into my reader I get over 10mb a second, thats right his is faster in my $10 off the shelf reader than mine in my fucking PSP. Meanwhile my 16gb MicroSD card writes at about 14mb a second and is about a third. Sony would fuck up a 1 car funeral, but thats mostly because they'd insist on replacing the gas with Sony Combustible Liquid Petrolium Product.

Pent up shit

2011-01-13T08:12:00.000-06:00

Here's what I don't understand. If tax breaks for the rich are supposed to improve the economy why is it that the economy sucked in the first place? I'm not even talking about Bush's crazy tax cuts but Reagan's. He destroyed the taxes on the rich back in the 80s, you know the whole trickle down economics bullshit. How is it that with rich people paying a quarter of the taxes they used to for almost 20 years the economy still needed Bush to cut their taxes in the early oughts? Hasn't the last 30 years proven that this whole theory isn't just bullshit but bad for the economy? If you look at when the US was its most successful it was when unions were strong, the rich were taxed at a high rate and Sarah Palin was a nobody. Low taxes for the rich create zero jobs, they just create hatred for the rich.

What I really don't understand is the non-rich who support low taxes for the rich. I mean seriously what are you retards thinking? Maybe one day you'll get to be rich so we shouldn't tax them? Tell you what when you become rich you should oppose taxes on the rich, until then you should support them, you know since you aren't fucking rich. But then again these are the same morons who oppose national health care, either because they believe the health care industry when they say it will lead to worse health care. It's hard to get worse than no health care for what 40 MILLION Americans? Or they bought that whole cold war Socialism is pure evil rhetoric shit hook line and sinker and believe the rightwing fucktards when they say this is the first step to socialism. The worst part is you can't even reason with these morons because they think any country that has national health care is socialist so you can't point out the fact that every other "first world" nation in the world has national health care. And every "second world" nation as well (using the classic designations from the cold war, both for convenience and to point out how outmoded this way of thinking is).

As partisan as I am it sickens me that anyone would use the tragedy of last Saturday to attack people across the isle. I do not like Republicans, I think they are wrong and their way of running this country is ruining it. I have even said I hope McCain, among others, dies (which I still do). But to say these people died because of something Sarah Palin posted on the Internet or said is stupid and gives that dumb bitch too much credit. Or to say he was really a liberal because one person he knew years ago said it is also stupid. It doesn't matter if he was a card carrying Marxist or belonged to some anti-government militia. He is clearly deranged and would've hurt someone sometime for some vague reason. I don't support capital punishment but I hope he spends the rest of his life being studied by psychiatrists so that we can understand how to prevent this kind of senseless bullshit from ever happening again.

There are real issues that this incident raises and discussing those is more than acceptable. Gun control and the state of mental health care in this country are both important topics that we should've spent the last several years since the Virginia Tech shooting addressing. Instead the media blamed video games and seemed to move on. I still play video games and I still haven't attacked anyone, so clearly it isn't the games fault. Or the violent movies, comic books, TV, Internet, music, etc. Can't we all just agree that it is too hard for crazy people to get mental health and too easy for them to get guns?

Was going to post this on Joystiq...

2010-07-26T23:37:00.001-05:00

So I play video games. And I read, about video games. I was reading an article over at Joystiq and I came across that article. It bothered me so much I had to write a response. After writing it I realized that my response was really a rant. And all my rants deserve a home here, for posterity.

Dear Gamers,

Stop fucking buying shit like this. If you buy it they will continue to release it rather than actual content. I swear horse armor ruined DLC. Back when the only games that had DLC were PC games (we called them expansion packs) no one would've ponied up real dollars to play fashion time Ken. Thanks to XBL every developer releases crap and wants you to pay for it. The only thing worse is "premium" themes. They are essentially ads for games I either own or want to own, or movies I've seen or want to see and you want me to pay to advertise them...to myself. Anyone who has paid for costumes, themes, gamer pictures or avatar items go look in the mirror. You're breaking gaming.

Assholes at the post office and on eBay

2010-07-19T16:51:00.000-05:00

I sold something on eBay, and after 10 days the jackass who bought it finally paid me. I sold it for 99 cents, which after paypal takes its 75 cent fee and eBay gets its sale fee of 30 cents means I lost 6 cents on it. Or I would have if I didn't measure it wrong. I thought it would need the large flat rate box, but thankfully it fit in the medium. Which means I actually made ALMOST $4 on it. But I guarantee the slow paying fuck who bought it will want a partial shipping refund. Well fuck that guy, I'm not losing money on it so he can leave a negative feedback and eat my ass with a spork.

I went to the post office to mail it. But since I'm not king of the dicks I packed it and labeled it at home. I walk in the door and this giant asshat took the package he was still taping up and moved it to the rail in line from the table. Just so he could get ahead of me. Well since he was still taping it up I walked around him and got in line. He just started taping faster, and more shittily. Then this dumb bitch walks in and sees him taping his package on the railing so she thinks that's the proper way to do stuff. She grabs a form and starts filling it out on the railing. These two fuckers think their time is so much more important than everyone else that they don't have to be prepared, and they'll still get ahead of people who are actually ready to do their business. Now by the time it would've been my turn the taping piece of shit was done. So he runs ahead of me to take the open spot. Before I could tell him to go fuck his mother, the women working the counter tells him that he can't be in line while working on his mailing, that's what the tables are for. But she'll let him go just this once. God damn it, I hate it when people make an exception "just this once". It's why these entitled assholes get away with shit. She should've told him to get back in line. The best part is that giant festering sore still wasn't ready. He hadn't filled out the shipping label or a customs declaration. This hemorrhoid on the ass of humanity not only figured he could pack the damn thing in line, but that he could fill out the long ass form and the shipping label while 8 or 9 people waited in line behind him.

Thankfully the postal employee drew the line at this. She handed him the form and the label and told him he'd have to step out of line to fill it out. But she continued her enabling streak by telling him to let her know when he was done so that she could take care of him. What the fuck you dumb bitch. Make the unprepared, inconsiderate, ass get back in line. If only just to make up for the time he didn't wait his turn. Luckily I didn't have to deal with this shit again. I walked up to the counter, handed over my package and the money to pay for shipping it. I spent less than 30 seconds at the fucking window because I was prepared.

There is some hope for humanity though. While some other shitty human being was filling out some form on the railing a guy walked in unprepared. But rather than stand at the railing like a dick, he went to the table to get his shit together. That guy wins my first annual* way to not be worthless award.

*annuality of awards is subject to change

Limited Time Only

2010-06-22T19:13:00.003-05:00

I was watching TV the other day and saw an ad for Avatar on DVD. It ended by saying it would be available for a limited time. What a load of shit. Is anyone ever fooled by this? Every Disney movie ever was only available for a limited time. Then about 2 years later a new version dribbles out like puss from an infection. Anyone who would rush out a buy a movie because of it's only being available for a limited amount of time deserves to be seperated from their money. Just like anyone who pre-order's a game for fear of it not being available any other way deserves to get saddled with a shitty game.

Back to the shit storm

2010-06-03T19:43:00.003-05:00

Well I've had a banner week. Last week I got rejected by a woman. I expected it, but its still shitty. Then on Monday I was fired. Let go on Memorial Day. I also expected this kick to the dick, but that doesn't mean it sucks any less. My boss must've got tired of riding my ass. So now I'm unemployed...again. And I'm trying to go back to school...again. What the fuck, I swear I've had this week before. Well on the plus side I'm still fat and abrasive. Fuck neither one of those is a plus.

Women

2010-02-07T10:53:00.004-06:00

I fucking hate it when you meet some chick and hit it off. And then when you've finally worked through all the bullshit your subconscious can throw at you and decide "fuck it, I'll ask her out". Only to find out she has a boyfriend she has never mentioned. So now you either have to stop talking to someone you genuinely like, which if you're like me is pretty rare. Or you have to grin and bear it. Both options suck. Hard.

Don't get me wrong, I hate it worse when all they do is mention their boyfriends. I used to work with this chick at the help desk at the U. She was cute, but all she did was talk about her idiot boyfriend Brock. She mentioned his name so much I remember it years late. Her name? NO FUCKING CLUE. That's how much she said his name. It was during the election in 2004 and being a group of working college kids we were all pretty liberal. Except her, and Brock. You see Brock came from money, but his daddy decided he needed "to learn the value of a dollar" so he worked. 1 day a week. That's right working for almost 5 hours a week was going to teach him to not be a jack ass. It did not work. So every time we start talking politics this chick chimes in with "Brock says" followed by some right wing bullshit. Every fucking TIME! We weren't sure if Brock was her boyfriend or her fucking messiah.

All I'm trying to say is that in this one instance Facebook beats real life hands down. You see on Facebook when you "meet" someone you immediately know if they are attached. But unlike that bitch at the help desk it doesn't remind you of that fact every 4 god damn seconds. If only women with boyfriends wore something to let everyone know they were in a relationship. Think about it, how many times have you accidentally hit on a married woman? One in my case, and she wasn't wearing a ring so it doesn't even count.

I fucking hate Chuck Norris

2009-06-10T14:50:00.004-05:00

He is symbolic of whats wrong with the right wing. He cultivates a rugged tough man image, and then idiots believe that means he's an actual hero. Most idiots who have seen too many episodes of Walker are more likely to listen to him on international security issues than the president. In many ways he's like John Wayne, who used his image to push his right wing agenda. Neither one ever served in combat. And while I'd be the first to say that means absolutely nothing, they both actively pursue an image of the combat hero. John Wayne more so, but they both do it. But that's not enough for Norris, he also uses his soapbox in front of the unthinking masses to push his religious agenda. Hell he even used that retarded TV show of his to opening push Christianity. In the 5 minutes of an episode I could stomach he showcased a group of roided up freaks who go around the country performing feats of strength all the while claiming its only with the power of Jesus they're able to do it. Really you giant man-bears? If it was the power of some long dead carpenter's son then why can't regular sized believers do it? Oh that's right, its the power of HGH, steroids and work.

The last part is the most important, everyone who gives credit to God for their accomplishments is doing nothing but devaluing human achievement. Going to the moon, why that was God. Not the hard work of some of the smartest people in the world. Advances in medicine are discredited as meaningless because some figment of our collective imagination holds ultimate power over all of us. It just struck me how cyclical that thinking is. We developed religion and myth because we feel so small and powerless in the vastness of the world. That got worse when we started to understand the vastness of the universe. Now that we not only understand how small and fragile we really are, hell our home planet is small and fragile in the grand scheme of things, we are more frightened so we turn ever harder towards the comforting embrace of unthinking devotion. The more we learn, the smaller we feel, the more likely we are to shun that damn book learnin' that made us feel small and embrace utter bullshit. We wrap ourselves in the warm blanket of ignorance and call it bliss. It's this feeling of worthlessness that drives people to marry and have kids. They know how insignificant they are so they want kids, a legacy. Someone to remember them when they are gone. It of course won't work. Sure your kids will remember you, and your grand kids if you live long enough. Hell lets pretend you will be healthy long enough to meet your great grand kids. Not just meet them, but be a big enough part of their lives that they remember you when they're old. Do you really think their kids will give a fuck? No. Maybe they'll know your name and that you were a district manager at a paper company (yes, I mean Michael Scott from the Office, he's who springs to mind when I think well intentioned idiot). But will they know you? No. Of all the people who have lived we care to know so few, what makes them think they're special enough to merit inclusion on that list? I, frankly, know I won't be remembered 100 years from now. You don't see me trying to create a legacy with my dick.

Wow, that was a little bit of a disconnect, even for me. Now back to that oozing asshole Chuck Norris. Along with all of his other faults he is a douche bag without a sense of irony. Before those stupid Chuck Norris emails started circulating a ways back he was well on his way to obscurity. But then when a website that started the trend tried to publish a book of them, he got litigious. That's right, even though no one would give a flying fuck without those emails he was preventing more free publicity by suing to stop the publication. Meanwhile this "great patriot" continued shilling that weak ass gym (we carried them at Oshman's back in the day, they sucked) with a tax cheat. Way to go you flag waving moron. I wish there was a hell so that people like you could suffer the way you've made anyone with half a brain suffer by inserting your bullshit into the collective consciousness of society.

What the Fuck?

2009-05-11T22:36:00.002-05:00

How is it that asshole who crashed a fucking plane back in February kept his job long enough to do so. Even after failing 5 tests. Meanwhile I can't find a job. Or how that fucking ass in Boston who crashed a fucking trolly will only get fired it he was texting while driving. Jesus. What the fuck did I do thats so wrong that I'm unemployable while those two geniuses don't just have jobs, but jobs where other people's lives are in their hands. I may not be the greatest employee ever, but fuck.

Yes its fake

2009-03-19T16:48:00.001-05:00

but damn if it isn't accurate

http://www.says-it.com/cos/index.php lets you make the sign say whatever you want

Employment practices

2009-02-23T14:38:00.007-06:00

Why is it so many companies expect you to create accounts on their websites just to apply for a job? Guess what assholes, if you hire me I will never use my account again. And if you don't then I will never use my account again. All you're doing is wasting my fucking time. If you don't want to accept resumes via email, fine. But for the love of Christ how about you just have a form on your website that we can fill out and submit? Less work for your IT people (currently they are forced to maintain a non-existent user base) and less work for applicants.

You know what else I hate when you let you import your resume and totally mangle it. They might as well label the "submit" button with "mangle your resume and have to manually fix every fucking category, which will end up taking longer than if you just copy and pasted the individual parts". If your software is so stupid it requires a specific form then how about you have an example of the form you require? Gee while your at it you might as well just have that reference form on your website above a link to email your resume to an HR moron and have it filtered for suitability. You know so even those retards can't fuck it up. Wow, less work for HR and IT. No wonder I'm unemployed, no one wants to hire someone smarter than them.

Fox News employs kiddie porn trader

2009-02-10T22:20:00.003-06:00

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0210093foxnews1.html

This is fucking terrible. Fox News, which has been attacked Obama for his associations since he became a serious contendor for the presidency, and attacking his cabinet nominations because of failure to pay taxes hired that guy. A man convicted of trading in kiddie porn (apparently not a big deal in Michigan because they only gave him 3 years of probation for 6000 pictures on his hdd). He was just arrested again after an undercover investigation into a kiddie porn trading network online. I hope the laws are more strict in DC, this piece of shit needs more than probation.

Call of Duty: World at War rant

2009-01-22T21:22:00.001-06:00

This game has the same exact problem as the last Treyarch CoD, the checkpoint system sucks. Nothing is more annoying then having to replay the same 70 seconds of gameplay over and over again because every single enemy is gunning for you while 20 AI comrades stand around doing nothing. The worst though is the last level. After getting so close to the absolute end you can feel it you get killed by an enemy that I swear materializes from a starship overhead. Then you get to redo the entire fucking level. After wasting my time slowly getting closer and closer to the end I just couldn't take it the second time I almost beat the game. I'm playing on a computer with over a Terabyte of storage, how about you let me quick save you fucking amateur console game making assholes Or maybe, just maybe, include a fucking checkpoint in the last level. This game joins CoD3 on my list of games I'll never beat out of sheer fucking frustration. As for the multiplayer; yawn. CoD4 does it better, and the weapons have inherently more balance. Now that I've uninstalled this piece of flaming shit I guess I'll go play that.

Treyarch = Ass Clowns

Israel sure makes it hard to support them

2009-01-12T09:15:00.004-06:00

Like most people I support Israel's right to exist (oooh controversial stance), but why must they make it hard to support them? Yes, rocket attacks were happening, but they always happen, and they always will. There will always be zealots on both sides, and every time Israel flexes their military muscles they make it easier to make zealots on the Palestinian side. The random nut jobs shooting into Israel are not, and should not, be sanctioned by any government. Punishing everyone in Gaza for it just makes more zealots. The worst part is Israel has to know this.

The world is so much more complicated then it used to be. Back when we (honkeys) thought of everyone else as inferrior we just forced our protection and values unto them. Then when they wanted "freedom" or "rights" we simply corrected them because they obviously didn't know what they were talking about. Now everyone is "equal" and deserves "human rights". We also used to get to wear plaid and smack women on the ass at work. Damn I was born too late.

Unoriginal idea

2008-12-20T05:03:00.003-06:00

I was watching a repeat of the Simpsons when I struck upon an idea, that I'm sure many have had before. Whenever I'm forced to talk to one of those morons who think we should ban the burning of the US flag I point out that burning it is simply using the freedom that it supposedly symbolizes. Which is obviously true. I was thinking that on July 4, 2009 I'm going to burn an American flag on my front lawn. Just one of those small ones with a handled (which shouldn't require a permit of any kind) and see what happens. Before the way the jack boot wearers over in St. Paul handled the convention I would say nothing would come of it here. But now I'm not too sure, thankfully it seemed to be mostly the Ramsey County Sheriffs who were ordered to be giant flaming dicks of repression. Hopefully nothing happens other than an expression of our first amendment rights.

Damnit

2008-11-30T00:55:00.003-06:00

Last Monday I had my appeal for unemployment. Although I thought I made my case pretty well the judge decided I didn't and ruled me ineligible for unemployment. The worst part is he waited until Friday to decide. I could've spent those days moving some of my stuff back to my brother's house since I'm losing my apartment. Instead I hoped for the best and left it all here (well almost, the laundry I brought over there to do I left). So now I get to owe 6 months rent on an apartment I won't be living in. Awesome.

On the plus side someone is coming to look at it today, so if they like it, and they can move in shortly I may be able to just sublet it out. If they don't want it the only other person interested can't move in until the 19th, and since I can't afford to pay the rent for the month I'll have to be out before then.

I'm going to appeal the unemployment decision one last time, but I'm guessing it won't make a difference. Even if it does it'll be weeks before it happens. In the meantime I have to find some kind of job, any kind of job. No more trying to get a job in security, or a job that would pay me anywhere near my old job. I'm going to have to try and get some crappy retail job where the hours will dry up come January. Honestly I don't know what I'm going to do then. I have this huge bill from this apartment that will follow me around until I pay it off, and if I have to try and do that on $7 or $8 an hour at 25 hours a week it'll take me a decade. Not to mention my car still needs an engine. Short term worst of all is I won't be able to get anyone a Christmas gift. They don't mind, but I actually enjoyed giving gifts to my friends. It was my way of saying thanks for being so generous for so many years when I was broke. But now I'm back to being broke. And since Wes now has a kid I feel like shit for even putting him in the situation where he has to help me out. He has his own problems, I shouldn't be one of them.

Shittiest Week Ever 2: The Day Trip

2008-11-06T21:49:00.004-06:00

Apparently the state of Minnesota felt my plan of using unemployment to help me get a decent job instead of the first thing that came along was idiotic. Today I got a letter, informing me they had decided I was ineligible for benefits. So my asshole former boss' overreacting to my "tardiness" didn't just get me fired, it cost me my unemployment. Since they fired me for my excessive tardiness the state ruled that I was fired for misconduct. And since I was fired for misconduct I don't get my unemployment. I'm obviously going to appeal, but that should take about a year judging by the fact that it took 3 weeks to just find this out. In all honesty they didn't know my plan so maybe they just thought I was idiotic.

After I stared at the wall for a while I called and cancelled my platelet donation (call me greedy but I really wasn't in the mood to help others). Then I figured I should mosey up to the rental office and let them know I have to break my lease. Apparently I will owe rent for every remaining month (6) unless they rent out my particular apartment. And with a couple of other openings, that they aren't being paid for, I'm sure mine will be the first one they show to prospective tenets. So not only do I get to move in with my brother's family I get to owe more in magic rent than either of the car's I've owned have cost me. Hooray?

Worst week ever

2008-10-17T04:44:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago I pulled all my money out of savings (about $2000) and applied for a personal loan ($3000) so I could buy a car. I didn't have a car in mind, I just knew I was tired of driving my brother's truck. I got approved for the load and my money made it from my online savings account to my checking account so I want to the bank to sign the paperwork. I met up with my buddy Randy, who said he'd look at cars with me so if I found something I liked I could take it right away. We went out to a dealership that looked like it had some deals online. We look around a test drive a few things and find this 1997 Lincoln Continental in really good shape. I was apprehensive because of the really high mileage (191k) but it worked like a champ on the test drive. Thankfully it was only $1995 so I could return the loan money and cover it with my savings. I wrote a check, did the paperwork and took off. We stop at a gas station kitty corner from the dealership and go to fill up. We find the first thing wrong with it, the gas door doesn't release. We get it open and fill it up. We get it back to their house so I can get the insurance squared away and then I head to work.

After work I drop my buddy Troy off, we notice the rear defrost doesn't work and neither do the interior lights. Also when I start it up I get the low coolant warning. I'm already worrying about the car. I get it over to my brothers and we look at it and I let him drive it for a bit. The low coolant warning pops on again. Once we get it back to the house my buddy Randy grabs his coolant and tells me I should put it in before I drive it the next day (we would've put it in then, but I didn't stay long enough to let it cool down). We fix the rear defrost and figure the interior lights are a fuse issue, since hone of them work. I head home and don't worry about it. The next day I add the little bit of coolant Randy gave me and went to work. No problems. That night the low coolant light comes on again. I realize I need coolant but no place that sells coolant anywhere near me or my work is open at 11pm. I decide to take care of it that weekend (it's Wednesday). Other than low coolant warning at night when I start it up I have no other problems.

Come Saturday I stop at Walmart and get coolant (not mixed) and head over to my brother's. I thought a couple of us would try and figure out the fuse problem, but no one was home all day. Randy was helping his dad fix up a rental property, Daniel was playing cards, Wes was at work and Robin and the baby were at her mom's. So I sat around with the dog for several hours. Then Randy calls and asks if I want to get food, I say yea. He gets to the house with William and we head out. But before we do I have him help me get the coolant devided so all I have to do is add water. I put half in his empty coolant thing and he pays me for half the cost. We eat and then head back. Before I leave late that night I add water to the coolant and put it in the car. No warning.

A few nights later I get the waring light back so the next day I add the last of my gallon of 50/50 and leave for work. A few nights after that the same thing happens. Last Friday I go out to dinner with my brother, his wife, their baby and my sister. I had taken a vacation day to give myself a 4 day weekend (I had Monday off because of Columbus day). Before I go though I get the mail. In the mail are 2 letters from the state. 1 says I have to surrender the plates on the Cadi since it doesn't have insurance. The other says that if I don't provide proof of insurance by the 17th, they will suspend my license. I call the number and talk to a woman, she lets me know I can fax over the form and if I get it to them by the 17th my license won't be suspended so I won't have to pay the fee. I call my insurance and they say they can fax it over today, but it may take up to 2 hours, it was now 4:20 so I figured the offices of the state closed at 5. I figured cool, I'll call and check on it Tuesday (Monday being a holiday). After dinner I stop at walmart and get coolant and stop leak and head to my friend Daniel's. We mix the coolant so now I have 2 gallons of 50/50. I do some fixing up of their computer and his new logitech harmony remote. I then head over to my brother's since 94 east is closed.

The next day I head back over to Daniel's and we figure out the fuse problem. We hang out for a bit then I head home. Sunday some people came over to watch football. At the half we head to Taco Bell and grab a bite, no car issues at all. Monday I did nothing.

Tuesday I get up early and go to work to get my check. On the way there the engine gets might warm. I run in, grab my check and dump in some coolant. I then head towards the bank. Half way there the car starts to over heat. I pull off. At this point I have 2 options. Have someone meet me where I pulled off, borrow their car and go. Or I can try and limp to the credit union. Once the car cools down I add coolant and call up Randy, letting him know to meet me at the credit union. Wes was going to meet me, but Robin's grandma is in the hospital so they are taking Xavier out to see her. I make it to the credit union. Randy isn't there. I deposit my check and head back outside. Randy still isn't there. I call him and he says he is a couple of minutes away, it's now 2:40. He lives 5 minutes from the credit union. I call my boss and say that I may be late, just in case. Randy shows up at 2:55 with the truck (he needed his car since he worked the next day).

I have 5 minutes to make a 20 minute drive. I obviously don't do it. I get in at 3:14 and ask where my supervisor wants me to work. He tells me so I go to relieve Beth at 3:15. She drags her feet on logging out. I ask her if she wants me to come in 15 minutes early the next day or a different day. She says she'd rather have the overtime. And by the time she is logged out its 3:20 so I'm out 20 minutes pay. After the boss leaves I ask my sup if we'll have to have a meeting with him about this the next day, he says probably. I call the shop I bring my car to and let them know I need a tow, give them an address and let them know my friend is waiting with the car and my AAA card. The tow truck driver calls and can't find it. He has the right address so I give him Randy's cell number to see if he can figure out what went wrong. The tow driver finds it and gets the car. Randy gets a ride home from his dad.

At a quarter to five I call the state and find out the offices are closed, I figured they must close at 4:30 so I'll check it on Wednesday. I work until 11. I had planned on staying late, but apparently that is no longer allowed. I go home and hit the sack, figuring I shouldn't worry about stuff I can't do anything about.

The next morning the shop calls and says the water pump is bad and there is a noise coming from the engine. They won't know what it is until the water pump is replaced so I say go ahead to that $320 repair. I get a call back at noon saying the new pump is in but the engine is still making that noise and that since they can't nail down exactly what it is they suggest it might need a new engine. And since they can't find a rebuilt on the quote is over $8000 for a new one with labor. I call the dealership I bought it from and am told the owner is out until about 1. I leave my name and number and the woman I talk to says she'll give him the message when he gets back. I watch tv and fret my future. No one calls at 1. I figure he's just taking longer so I figure I'll try him at 1:30. At 1: 30 I realize I still haven't called the state so I call them. Then I realize my wallet is in my pants in the bedroom and I'm much too lazy to get them so I'll call later. 1:40 rolls around and I call the dealership back, the owner was there, got the message and left. I figure that is a bad sign. I start getting ready for work.

I grab my frozen dinners for the next week of work, my cokes and orange for the day and head out. On my way to the truck I call the state. I keep on hold while I'm driving to work (with my bluetooth of course). I get to work just in time and put my food in the freezer, my cokes in the fridge and my hat and jacket down at the bay my sup tells me to take. He says we have to meet with the boss, I say I'm not really in the mood for it, he says we have to. We head next door where our boss is waiting. He fucking fires me because I was late the day before. I ask him what I should've done. He says I was at work and left, I point out I was at work to grab my check and couldn't know the car would crap out on me. Especially since it was exactly 2 weeks old and hadn't had any problems. He says there is nothing he can do, but that fucking coward refused to look me in the eye. He could've just not paid me for the 20 minutes. He could've dealt with it himself, but no. He felt 7 tardies in 10 months was enough to fire an operator he rated at above average. Not only that I can't get my stuff, he sends my sup to get my stuff and he walks me to the front desk. My sup comes out with my stuff and escorts me to the truck. I go to my brother's. No one is home. I call him up and ask what he's doing. He's out recruiting for his new job. I explain about the car and about losing my job.

I call the HR person who my boss got involved. He also said she was the one who made the decision. I talk with her, explain what happened and get no sympathy. That bitch didn't even have the decency to call into my termination. It just shows how low on the totem poll my old boss is.

I went online and applied for unemployment. It tells me there is a form I need to fill out, so I'm sure I'll get it in the mail in the next couple of days. I get ahold of the owner of the dealership and explain what happened he offered me $500 to help cover the cost of repairs. We disagree about the fairness of that offer so I agree to bring the car by on Thursday so he can check it out for himself. I wait around for my brother to get home. Randy gets home first. He takes me out to Wendy's to grab some food. While in line this guy asks me to get him a sandwich. I told him, "I don't know you". He says something like do it because we're god's children. I told him "my car died and I lost my job today, so no". We order our food and head back to the house. We eat watch a little TV. Then Wes, Robin and Xavier get home along with Robin's oldest brother. We play Wii for a while. Eventually I start getting a headache so I head upstairs and lay down. After a while I decide to go watch tv so I head back downstairs.

I wake up on Thursday and my throat hurts and I feel like I have a ton of mucas at the back of it. I start trying to cough it up. I get up some mucas and blood but not the big lump of it. I give up because it really hurts trying to dislodge it. Wes stops home for a few minutes and I explain about the mucus. He looks at the back on my throat and tells me that my uvula and soft pallet are all swolen and my uvula is resting on my tongue. He takes off.

I call the dealership and let them know that I don't feel well enough to bring the car out so I'll bring it out Friday about 2. I get a call from the shop and let them know that I'll be by to get it tonight. I have to be home by 7 since someone from craigslist is coming to buy the Haynes manual for the Cadi. I call Randy and find out he's working late. So I call Robin and leave a voice mail. Randy let me know I should see if his dad can drive me. I figure I'll wait until 5 to ask him since as long as we leave the house before 6 I should be ok. Before I call him, I try Robbie again. I get the disconnected message and get confused. A few minutes later she calls me back and says she'll come to the house and get me. After she picks me up we head to the shop and I get the car. I also get into a little debate with the guy behind the counter about the election. He is one of those people who believe the myths spread by Republicans about Democrats (that they'll tax everyone, etc.). I get in the car and start heading for home. The service engine soon light is lit up and the low engine coolant light comes on.

I pull off the road and add about half a gallon of coolant. I go a few blocks and the light comes back on. I figure what the fuck and keep going. Driving along the freeway the temp redlines, so I pull onto the shoulder and let it cool down. I start moving again and the engine temp redlines again. I pull over and add more coolant. Looking down the road I have a couple of options. Straight brings me to the freeway. A left looks like a bad idea. A right doesn't look any better. I go straight. Wrong choice. I get a couple of blocks up and the engine redlines again. I pull off again and realize I'm stuck. I'm on a long 2 lane entrance ramp so I can't turn back. I decide to try and make it to the next exit. Wrong. The next exit is several miles down the road, after a bridge. I coast as long as I can and say fuck it. I pull off onto the shoulder. I open the hood to let some of the heat out. I email the craigslist guy and let him know I'll be late. I call for a tow and then I call Randy. He agrees to get me when he gets off in half an hour. I sit in the car and wait. While waiting I call Wes and shoot the shit for a minute. Then I get a call from the craigslist guy. I explain what happened and he agreed to meet me at my place on Friday at 1. I miss a call from the tow truck. I call him back and leave a message. He calls me back and lets me know he'll be there in about ten minutes. I call Randy and let him know. The tow arrives and he starts hooking up my car. Then a FIRST (First Incident Response something Team) truck pulls up. I take my crap out of the car and let the tow driver know my friend will be by to get me in a few minutes. He pulls off. The FIRST guy pulls up and asks what I'm doing. I explain my friend will be by to get me in a few minutes. He says he can't leave my on the side of the road. I climb into his truck and call Randy. He drops me off at a gas station so I wait there for Randy. The FIRST guy swings back and asks what tow company I used, I tell him and he takes off.

Randy shows up, we grab some BK and head for the house. After some TV I take a nap. I get up, get my shit out of Randy's car and load up the truck. All week I've been looking forward to seeing a Midnight showing of Sex Drive with my buddy Simon. There is no way after this week I was going to miss it, especially since he offered to pay for me because of my shitty week. I came home after the movie (it was awesome) and started dinking around online. Including writing these 2 really long blog posts.

Now all I've got to do is request my unemployment for the week, sleep for a few hours, get up, talk to the shop, talk to the dealership, sell the manual and start looking for work.

Oh yeah, bad luck that didn't happen to me this week. On Tuesday morning Robin's grandma passed. On Thursday Wes found out that Kinko's messed up his business cards so he couldn't effectively recruit people. And his service engine soon light came on right after he left the dealeship from a scheduled oil change. Daniel's computer won't boot and when I went there on Monday to fix it I didn't have any of my software tools. Wes and Robin's computer won't boot properly either because of blown caps. I ordered replacements but they look physically too big. I'm still going to try and borrow a soldering station and try them out. Hopefully they work because otherwise it'll cost another $30 to get caps from a website that are guaranteed to be the right size.

Car accident

2008-10-17T03:59:00.005-05:00

I haven't posted in a while so I thought since I'm getting shit on I figure I'd share the pain. A little over a month ago I was in an accident and my car got totaled. Apparently when I paid my insurance, a few days earlier, there was some kind of snafu, so my insurance was invalid. Which I didn't know so the first thing I did was call my insurance. A car two cars ahead of me came to a sudden stop and I didn't stop in time so I hit the car ahead of me. The woman driving the car I hit was on the phone with the cops so I called my work and told them I was going to be late.

The police showed up and took everyone's info and went back to their car. While they're doing their thing I'm talking to my insurance company. My insurance asks for the license plate of the car I hit, I look up and the car is gone. So is the car in front. I look at the stuff the cop handed me. Along with a card with the case number is a ticket. Inattentive driving. So along with a totaled car I have a ticket. Joy. After I get off the phone with my insurance I call my sister in law to come get me. While I'm on the phone with her a flatbed shows up and starts hooking up my car. At no point did the cop ask me if I needed a tow, he just called the truck. Even though my insurance would've sent a tow, or AAA, since I'm a member. But no, this cop just orders a truck. So I walk over and ask the driver where he's taking the car. He says impound, I ask if he can take it somewhere else, he says no. After my car is taken away I cross the street to wait for my ride. While I do that I call my work and let them know that I won't be coming in since I'm going to try and take care of this right away. They say thats fine.

My sister in law shows up and we go to their house. My insurance agent calls me and explains they're trying to figure out if I made a payment. So now my car it wrecked, and towed, and I might not have insurance (it was liability anyway). I hang out at my brothers since it's too late to get to the impound and I haven't been contaced by anyone about the accident. I also found out I can't pay my ticket for few days since it needs to be processed. I borrow my brother's truck and head home (after we square away insurance).

The next day (thursday) I go to work and everything is ok. I had decided to wait until Friday since it was payday and I really didn't want to deal with everything yet. I call the impound and find out what I owe and where it is. I contacted one of those charities that take cars. They say they can't know what the local charity can take until the next day. Figuring that was squared away I went home and did my usual before bed.

Friday. 8am, some insurance company calls me up wanting a statement, I decide giving a recorded statement while I'm half asleep is stupid. I go back to bed. A little while later I get a call from the charity, they're asking for the VIN and a bunch of other stuff. I'm like stop, before I bother with that find out if you can take a totaled car and let me know. I go back to sleep. I get up early (for me). Go to work, grab my check, and head to the bank. After the bank I head to my brother's house. I call the local charity back and find out they can't take it. So I whip out the yellow pages and find a wrecker service. First one can't meet me until 3, I work at 3 so no go. I call another and he can meet me at 2 at the impound. Not only that, he offers me $50. Score. I bet the none of you reading are curious why I wanted my wrecked car back. I didn't. I wanted by stuff back. I had cds, and brand new cd player (bought 3 weeks earlier), flashlight, tool set, emergency kit, etc. I totaled it all up and with the cd player I had over $200 worth of stuff in the car. The impound fee was "only" $183 at that point. I figured awesome.

I hung out at my brothers for a couple of hours and then I headed to the impound. When I got close I realized that the truck was low on gas. I figured there had to be a gas station near the impound, nope. It was ok though, because I got to the impound fine. The tow truck pulls up as I do at a little before 2 so I figure I'm golden. We head to the door and it says one person per issue. He waits outside. I go in the door and up a flight of stairs. At the top is a crowded landing full of people. There is one employee behind the counter and she is talking to some kid, who had his mom with him. Another employee is off to one side but she is busy flirting with some slimey looking dude. Actually he is the one doing the flirting. I'm standing there waiting my turn and Slimey keeps talking. Finally the lump of humanity he thought was a catch asked if she could help me. It's now a quarter after. I say I'm here to get my car and tell her the make, model and license plate. She tells me the total so I slam down $185 along with my license and insurance*. She walks away. I pick up $185. She comes back and I put the money down again. She brings me a receipt and starts looking for my keys. She can't find them and says someone must've moved them. I think I spot them so I point them out. Nope. I think I see them again so I point them out. Nope. She gives me the evil eye. She asks someone over and he finds them right away. Apparently she doesn't know how their system works because they were on the correct peg, she looked below them. She hands them to me and says that the camera is out so I'll have to call when I get to the gate. I head down the stairs.
*at this point my insurance wasn't officially invalid, so I used the card for my insurance

Me and the tow truck go to the gate and I call. As soon as someone picks up I explain what I want and they are clueless. But the gate opens so I'm happy. We do a lap of the lot and don't find it. So I call and ask for help finding it, the same dude I just spoke with said he would come and help. We loop to the door that opens on the same stairs I went up. Some dude walks out and gets in his car. As he is walking in front of the truck I ask the tow truck driver if he thought that was the guy, he said probably not since he didn't say anything. So we wait, and wait, and wait. Then the lump of humanity comes down stairs and lights up a smoke. The driver tells her we can't find my car and she says its in the secondary lot like she said. I ask where is the secondary lot. She says you go back up the road and it's on your left. I ask if there is a sign or something. She says no, but you'll see a blue shack. We pull out and head back down the road. I let the driver know the lump didn't say shit about a secondary lot and even if she had I have no idea how she expected us to spot it without a sign (this is an industrial area and everything looks the same). He says no problem. It's now about 2:30.

We get to the secondary lot and the dude who walked in front of the truck without saying a word is there waiting. Neither one of us has any idea how the fuck he expected us to know we should follow him. He leads me to my car and the driver gets it on the flatbed. While he's doing that I ask the employee where the nearest gas station is. He points and says about a mile. To clarify I'm like, "so I go back to Concord, take a left and go down about a mile?" He says yes, and if I see a building with a bunch of colors I'm almost there. I say thanks. I hop back in the tow truck. We pull unto the street and I grab all my shit, including my stereo. Thankfully I have tote bags in my trunk for when I buy groceries. I fill them up and let him know it's good to go. He pulls ahead and turns around. I realize I forgot to empty out the glove box. I flag him down and he lets me grab my shit. It's now 2:40.

I wedge it in the truck and head for the gas station. After over 2 miles I see the multicolored building. While I'm filling the truck I call my work and let them know I might be a couple of minutes late, depending on traffice. While I'm pumping gas I pull out my phone and get directions. I can either go back the way I came (towards work) or continue the way I had to go to get to the gas station and take a freeway way back by my apartment. I double back towards work. Terrible choice, traffic sucked ass. I unded up being 5 or 6 minutes late. It being Friday my boss, a clock Nazi, doesn't say shit. On Monday though we had a nice little 15 minute meeting about my 5 minute tardiness (how the fuck does talking for 15 minutes about missing 5 minutes make any fucking sense?). He warned me that if it happened again I could be punished upto and including termination. I ask him what I should've done since a weekend in the impound would've cost me $40 and the only reason I was late was the shitty service at the impound (who btw told me there wouldn't be a wait as long as I made it before 4, no wait my ass).

It should be noted that last December my boss wrote me up for my tardiness in a 40 minute meeting. Since then I had been late 5 times up to this point (totaling less than a half hour and probably less than 20 minutes). Hell I hadn't been late in 3 weeks. So at this point its 6 lates totaling about a half hour in 9 months, not too bad imo.

Total cost of the accident (so far):
car ($1000 trade in since I was looking for a new car)
ticket $121
impound $133 (fee minus the $50 the wrecker paid me)
$1255, plus a bullshit meeting with my boss.

Sarah Palin is awesome

2008-09-03T03:17:00.007-05:00

She is proof McCain knows he can't win. In a desperate attempt to woo the militant feminists who insist Hillary was robbed he taps a nut job who happens to have a vagina.
She is against a woman's right to choose.
She is for teaching creationism.
Less than two years ago she was mayor of a town of 9,000.
Her teenage daughter is pregnant, and her solution is for her 17 year old daughter to get married.
All 5 of her kids have fucked up names (not quite Apple or Audio Science but hey she isn't a celebrity she had to stick to run of the mill crazy names).
She is currently under federal investigation for ethics violation (and given how the DOJ treats crimes committed by republicans she must have really fucked up).
But best of all she was a member of a secessionist group. That's right, they wanted Alaska to be a county. A country that would probably have to import everything (even oil, since they have no refineries). Think of it like a Sheikdom, but with snow instead of sand. Quality.

On the plus side she is very fuckable, in a middle aged librarian who probably likes to be tied up and spanked kind of way.

I just found out she also didn't even know what the Vice Presidents job was at this time last year. Thanks again John.

My work

2008-08-26T01:17:00.002-05:00

I like my job, but something happened the week before last that almost made me quit. You see I'm not very good at bottling up my opinions, or watching my language, and apparently that pissed someone off. Someone complained about something I said so I had to have 2 meetings with my boss. The second one ended with me getting written up. I also found out during the second one that apparently I had already received a warning. You see my boss isn't good at confrontation, so when you fuck up he tells everyone not to fuck up in that particular way. He doesn't say who fucked up that way, he just lets everyone know you shouldn't fuck up that particular way. Which is kind of stupid since we all pretty much know who did what, when. Anyway during a different pointless meeting he mentioned that we had to be careful not to make comments about sexual orientation. I figured someone else fucked up since;
A. I'm not homophobic
B. I don't hate gay people
C. I work with people who I would venture to guess fall into one or both of those categories
Turns out I said something someone took as offensive to gays.

The worst part though is that I can't find out who I offended. I want to know so that I can be careful to not offend them again. Because I tried not saying anything that wasn't work related but it really makes the day drag and puts me in a fouler mood than usual (not good). I understand the fear is that I could retaliate, but honestly I have no idea how I could do that even if I wanted to. The only thing I could do is give them the cold shoulder. But if I'm that offensive to them you think they'd welcome it.

Its no longer now so heres some more of the same

2008-08-26T00:24:00.003-05:00

I've got another post on McCain. And since every other blogger brought it up I figured fuck it I might as well too. How can you not know how many houses you have? How can you claim to understand the problems of average Americans when you don't even know how many fucking houses you OWN. But thats the repubs for ya. They claim to be average joes when really they're richer than 85% of the country. He also thought that you weren't rich unless your "income" is greater than $5,000,000 a year. Our man Barack said $250,000/year makes you rich. And thats the main difference between the parties. One is run by rich people who know they're rich (Democrats) the other is run by rich people who think they're just well off (Republicans).

I'd also like to say that while Joe Biden wouldn't be my first choice (I love me some John Edwards). He is a good choice. I'm sure Barack and his people are smart enough to let Joe play elder statesman to calm the nerves of the older crackers who are a little put off by that "uppity negro". I'm looking at you everyone who watches Fox "News".

McCain's past, general Republican hypocracy

2008-07-27T07:52:00.005-05:00

Last one about McCain, for now, I promise. He was a pilot who got show down. He was tortured by the VC. While he was a POW his wife stayed with him. When he got home he traded her in for a newer, richer model. She had her own issues though. While his supporters ripped on Michelle Obama for saying she was proud of her country for the first time in her adult life (a feeling I understand) they glossed over Cindy McCain. You see she is something far worse than someone who wasn't proud of this country. She is a drug addict. Sure its prescription drugs. But shouldn't she be in prison? I mean if she was poor and did meth she'd be in prison. But because she is rich and self medicated with expensive drugs she got a slap on the wrist. Just like Limbaugh. He rants against drug addicts all the time on his show. Saying they should be thrown in jail, no treatment for them. But as soon as he's busted for drugs, all he needs is a little help. Its not his fault, he's addicted.

But lets get back to the man himself. Along with the Keating 5 incident (he was cleared of course) there is the more recent problem of Donald Diamond. Basically McCain helped this large contributor buy land from the army for $250,000. Which Diamond shortly sold for $20 million. So this cleaner than clean abuse buster is an influence peddler. While his backers attack Obama for simply working with a professor who did unsavory things 30 years ago, McCain was busy helping someone profit at tax payer's expense. Nice work if you can get it.

This is just more classic Republican hypocrisy. When a right winger from Florida got busted for trying to fuck under age pages Faux News spent time talking about a Democrat who had sex with a page. Who was of consent age, when it happened. 25 years earlier. That's what I like to call a reach. Of course what do you expect from a network that "accidentally" calls Obama Osama (several times), makes thinly veiled racial slurs. Of course they also mislabeled the Florida senator as a democrat (twice) and said he was evil because of his Hollywood friends. I personally didn't know Hollywood, FL was such a cesspit.

My personal favorite hypocrisy from the retarded right is about the separation of church and state. You see those of them who love church want it every where. In schools, in clinics, on courthouse lawns. Absolutely everywhere. But the problem is there is a little precedent in this country known as the separation of church and state. Easy say these wacktards. Its not in the constitution so it doesn't matter. Meanwhile the Supreme Court (the deciding voice in these things if junior high civics taught us anything) has upheld this separation because it has been the standard since Thomas Jefferson explained it in a letter. Hold on a second these people shout. That doesn't mean anything. TJ had no right to set a precedent. We can do what we want. And sadly it seems that they are right more than they are wrong. In the 60s to combat those vile commies they added God to our money and our Pledge. And even though that is a clear violation of the separation of church and state its still there. Of course that the mere existence of Executive Privilege also relies on Jeffersonian precedent doesn't seem to bother them while they say Bush can cite it to keep people from testifying before Congress.

More McCain madness

2008-07-27T07:24:00.004-05:00

So I just covered his idiotic stance on torture, now I want to cover his amazingly idiotic stance on health care and the war in Iraq.

He doesn't think health care needs any work in this country. In the last Republican debate he talked about how the system was fine. Thats because he stole all the healthcare. A couple of months ago he released his medical history. Wait, let me rephrase that for the none of you who missed the daily show. He let reporters be in a room for an hour with his ginormous medical history. As long as they didn't bring phones, pdas, laptops, tablet pcs or cameras. I believe notebooks and stone tablets were allowed. He has a ton of problems and is on a ton of pills, but he doesn't have to worry about paying for any of it. Because even though he is rich (or his wife is) all of his bills are covered because he is a senator. No wonder he doesn't believe health care sucks in this country. It doesn't for him, or for anyone else who is rich. Way to be out of touch you incredibly old, rich douchebag.

Now onto the war. He supported the war. He then supported the surge. This second part is the flag all of his bitches are waving. You see because the surge is "working" (don't worry I'll get to it) and he supported it clearly this one decision means he is the best choice to run the country. Bullshit. Lets say it is working. Lets say not only is it working he invented it. Lets say not only is it working, and he invented it, he is the fucking surge. He, by himself, went into Iraq and bolstered our troops. That still doesn't mean we should stay. The Iraqi government wants us out. By not respecting their wishes we will become an occupying force. Violating countless international agreements. I know those agreements mean exactly dick to the UN hating assholes who are still leaning towards voting for this dick, but they do mean something to most of the remaining 6 billion people on the planet.

Back to the surge and how its "working". Between the beginning of the surge and the end of last year the violence in Iraq was higher than it was the previous year during the same month. So July '07 was more violent than July '06. Digest that. Violence was down for most of this year (again using month to month), but was higher than it was 2 years ago. That means, to me at least, that last year before the surge was launched but after it was widely hinted at by the war hawks, that the insurgents hit while the hitting was good. That uptick in violence could be the direct cause of the Anbar Awakening. One of the biggest factors in reducing the violence (even according to Patreus). Of course McCain, master of the middle east, doesn't really care about any of this. In an answer he gave to CBS News he downplayed the Awakening (even though Patreus explained it to a panel McCain was on in Congress) and then fucked up the timeline so that it came after the surge. Basically he said the surge caused it. The best part though is that CBS edited that part out of the interview. While his campaign is screaming about Obama's "special treatment" he gets his errors edited by CBS fucking News. He's just jealous. Jealous that Obama can get 200,000 in Berlin while he can't get 200,000 in the US.

Of course there is also the fact that violence is again going up in Iraq, while the surge is still in place, which kind of negates how "right" he was. Plus there is the massive failure in Afghanistan (anybody hear about the huge prison breakout of hundreds on Al Qaida militants there? No? Thanks American media). Not to mention the fact that whole Iraq Pakistan border thing. Not a great showing for an expert on the region. But hey, he didn't know the difference between Shia and Sunni a few years ago either.

John McCain should die

2008-07-27T07:09:00.003-05:00

Let me start by pointing out to any law enforcement agencies reading this that I said should die, I never threatened anyone. Which raises a modern version of the whole tree falling in the woods thing, if you post a threat online that you won't follow through on or expect anyone to see, can they prosecute?

John McCain is a delusional old man who is supported by nut jobs and idiots. Like everyone else in the country I thank him for serving his country (I'm sorry but specifics really aren't important, if you served, thank you), he needs to shut his fucking pie hole. He supports torture, even though he was fucking tortured (I'd say way to be that guy, but lets face it no one expected there to ever be a that guy in this case). Lets pretend torture works (it doesn't, ask Johnny, how many confessions did he sign while being beaten by the VC?). So in our magical scenario torturing a bad guy gets us valuable intel we couldn't get any other way (like earning their trust, the way the experts say works best). Fine, in the case of our hypothetical world I can accept that. Next we have to accept that there are no repercussions (which there are, if you torture terrorists you simply make martyrs). Fine, again for the sake of argument we'll accept this fantasy as well. But even with those magical hypotheticals (and not regular magic either, for those 3 things to be true it would take unicorn fucking a leprecaun magic while being watched by Merlin and Harry Potter) we still shouldn't do it. Why? Well I have one great reason. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD GUYS. If we stoop to their levels to beat them we aren't a good guys any more and we don't deserve to win. We beat Soviet Russia because we were the good guys. People all over the Soviet bloc wanted to live in our society, they begged for it, they pleaded for it, they fought for it. No one (well almost no one) wanted to live under their regime. Hell I'm a fucking socialist and I'd rather live in this corporate wasteland than Stalin era Russia. They were so bad we got away with Mccarthyism. If they didn't suck total donkey dick that alone would've scared people away from supporting us. But it didn't. We won. All because they were bigger assholes than us. Sure this time we're fighting a corrupted version of a religion, rather than a corrupted version of a political ideology, but six of one half a dozen of another.

Jesus was a hippie

2008-07-27T06:53:00.002-05:00

I was talking with a friend at work and I mentioned, kind of offhanded, that Jesus was a hippie. Which really pissed her off. It was one of those completely emotional reactions, almost like I made a racial slur. I then explained what I meant. He didn't have a job, he was basically a homeless preacher who lived off the kindness of others on the commune he shared with his fellow Christians. This begs the question why do so many people who claim to love him shun his ways? I've seen a bunch of articles and segments on news programs about how many of these new mega churches (how do you fellowship with 5000 people?) are saying that God wants you to be rich. That's not how they interpreted the bible for 1500 years (you know since that pagan Constantine decided to get a unified bible). But hey, these are the same hypocrites who turn the other cheek by invading countries.

There a great Ghandi quote "I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians, they are so unlike your Christ".

I finally got my new modem set up

2008-07-27T06:44:00.003-05:00

After being ass raped by hold for 2 hours on Sunday, and over an hour and 15 minutes on Monday, I finally gave in and got up early to call on Tuesday. That is right after I talked to someone in the department to add service (the only fucking staffed department as far as I can tell) and bitched. She was at least nice enough to try and put me through. And after 10 more minutes on hold she was then kind enough to lie and say she'd pass a note along to that group.

So I get up early on Tuesday, and yes it wasn't early for you day walkers it was early for me so shut the fuck up. It went so fast I dialed, put in my phone number and hit speaker phone. I figured the whorring hold message would soothe me while I took a shit. I no more than drop trou and sit down then someone picks up. It took a good ten minutes (mostly waiting for my router to restart, a couple of times) but it worked fine in the end. Of course he did try to sell my their phone service (gee can I please spend $15 more a month than Vonage once you're damn promo is over? Or over $25 more since if I wanted home phone I'd get the Vonage 500 minute plan since its 495 minutes more than I'd use). So thanks to that guy.

$7? Really XCEL Energy?

2008-07-27T06:34:00.006-05:00

I was so worked up about Comcast it reminded me about my hatred for XCEL. For those of you (HA) not from Minnesota, or one of the other states owned by XCEL they are a power company. When I moved I called them from my apartment (while my TV and HD DVD player were both on) to let them know I needed an account for that apartment. They set it up, and were quite pleasant about it. Well I get my first bill and find out why. To start my service they charged me $7. Thats right they demanded $7 for simply typing in my name, address and phone number. They didn't run any cables, or even come over and make sure it worked fine. So when I got this bill I called them up, and again the nice helpful person on the phone was really polite while she explained that was the charge to start my service. Before I could stop myself (like I ever stop myself from saying anything) I said "Isn't that a ripoff? Charging me $7 to type in a few things?". She wanted to agree, but I let her off the hook by saying I'm sure you can't answer that. Honestly I felt bad for her. Her job is to essentially tell people "Yep, you're getting fucked". So I said thanks and I let her go.

But that got me thinking about how utilities have people over a barrell. Lets say I felt being charged for the honor of giving them my business is a rip off (I do and it is). There is exactly jack fuck I can do about it. I don't pay, they cut my power. Simple as that. Its not like cable tv where I have other options (broadcast, sat, fiber for some). Or internet (sat, cable, dsl, fiber for some). I can't tell XCEL to fuck off and go with Joe's 'lectricity. Just like I can't tell the gas company to fuck off and go with someone else (thankfully I don't deal with that in my apartment). Sure I have municipal water, but if they fuck up I can lobby my city council and get shit done. Who the fuck do I lobby to get my 7 bucks back?

If Comcast was a puppy I would spend all day kicking it

2008-07-22T00:25:00.002-05:00

I fucking hate Comcast. When I moved I got comcast for TV and for internet. After the rapings called installation (really 3 seperate install charges for 1 visit? and how in the fuck do they charge for a hd tv installation when its part of the regular fucking install?) things went ok. Until I wanted to use my own modem. I called yesterday, 3 times, and when I finally got a hold of someone (call 3 about 50 minutes into it) they told me there was some glitch with my account so they weren't able to add my modem to my account. After explaining that I had already spent 2 hours on the phone on hold I was given some bullshit story about a direct number and how they could handle it today. HA! The best part is that between call 2 (35 minutes) and call 3 (50 minutes before the cunt picked up) I chose the option to upgrade or add services. There was no fucking wait. None. Picked up in the middle of ring one.

As of right now I've been on hold for 59 minutes and 16 seconds. Almost a fucking hour of listening to their whoring of their services and nothing. The fucking worst part though is that every 75 fucking seconds a stupid recording interrupts the whoring recording to let me know my call is important. IF MY FUCKING CALL IS SO GOD DAMNED IMPORTANT WHY THE FUCK DON'T THEY HIRE A THIRD FUCKING PERSON TO TAKE PHONE CALLS? WHY THE FUCK DO I EVEN NEED TO TALK TO TECHNICAL SUPPORT TO DO WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY 30 SECONDS OF TYPING ON THEIR END? I'M ABOUT 5 SECONDS AWAY FROM GETTING IN MY CAR, DRIVING TO THE NEAREST OFFICE AND BURNING IT TO THE FUCKING GROUND. AND THEN SHITTING ON THE SMOLDERING WRECKAGE. The only thing stopping me is I don't need to shit.

Its been too long...

2008-07-19T08:49:00.002-05:00

since my anger spewed forth upon this page that no one sees but me. For the past month or so my computer has been down, so thats my excuse. I mean reason. I plan on throwing up a couple of rants this weekend (hopefully today but I've got a bunch of crap to catch up on computer geek wise since my main pc has been down so long).

I will say that I'm taking full credit for Pope Hitler Youth finally calling what those assclown priests did to those poor little kids evil. Of course since I didn't listen to his whole speech its entirely possible that he again blamed society. Either way he made the speech at the Catholic version of those Nazi rallys. But hey, go team Jesus.

My Comcast DVR sucks donkey dick

2008-06-11T00:22:00.002-05:00

Since I'm living alone now I thought I'd try to save some cash on my TV. Rather than going with DirecTV, which is awesome, I went with my cable company since I was getting my internet from them anyway. The appointment date I got was last Thursday and other than the installing being late (I'm sorry but with a fucking 4 hour windows of arrival how are you still late?). He even fucking called me for directions. I just moved ass, how the fuck am I supposed to know how to get here from where you are? Go to my work or my old house and I can direct you fine, anywhere else and you're fucked. Anyway so I got it installed and am playing with the HD DVR and it sucks pretty hard. Not to mention it has limited storage (160gb or supposedly 20 hours of HD). So on Friday I ordered a Tivo HD online, and a bigger hdd (I'm gonna crack that bitch open and upgrade it). Then on Saturday I got to playing with my buddie's Comcast HD DVR (he got a Scientific Atlantic, I got a Motorola) and his makes mine look like the shit. So I started rethinking my order and thought about cancelling, when my DVR reared its shitty head. I had recorded a couple of shows (BSG in HD, When We Left The Earth, Venture Bros. & Metalopaclyse in SD). Well I wanted When We... in HD so I deleted the recording and started recording the midnight showing in HD. By the time it was done recording I had already watched VB, Metal and was about halfway through BSG when I got a popup saying I needed more space. I pause the movie and pull up the DVR playlist and see only the BSG I'm in the middle of and When We. How the fuck is the hdd full with 3 hours of TV? 3 God damned hours, on a packed night in the fall I might record 4 hours of HD content. Or at least my old DirecTV DVR would. At this point I relized I had made the right call.

Today I found out my Tivo and my bigger hdd will be arriving this Thursday so I hopped into a chat with a Comcast rep to set an appointment for the Cablecard install and to find out if the installer could just grab my shitty Moto DVR while they were here. Thankfully the rep told me I could just swap them at a Comcast store and activate the cards myself. So hopefully by Sunday I'll have my Tivo setup and since I'm going with the year subscription I'll even save a couple of bucks a month over the Comcast DVR fee.

Back online

2008-06-11T00:21:00.001-05:00

I've been back online since last thursday, not that anyone noticed I was gone.

Fat Guy Friendly

2008-05-31T01:08:00.001-05:00

My site (FGF) will be down for a few days while I move. Not that anyone goes there, or reads this.

Someone Religious I don't hate

2008-05-27T02:53:00.003-05:00

I recently read about Sister Catherine Mulkerrin of the Archdiocese of Boston. She worked in the office for victims of abuse. She spent years trying to help victims and bring the abuse to light, but was ignored. The Bishop in charge of personnel, Bishop John B. McCormack, did nothing. Then when the abuse came to light in 2002 all of the memos and warnings this woman put out were used as evidence in the billions of dollars of law suits against the Archdiocese of Boston. Rather than blaming the sexualization of society (I'm looking at you Pope Suck Ass), she tried to help. If every religion was made up exclusively of people like her I not hate religion. Hell, I may even be a member of a church. But since it apparently is made up of finger pointing hate mongers, who diddle kids, I'll just have stay agnostic.

Sadly Sister Mulkerrin passed away recently, if there is an afterlife I hope she is happy.

The Pope can suck my dick

2008-04-17T02:21:00.005-05:00

The Pope (not sure if I have to capitalize that but I don't want to offend the idiot papists) today said that some cases in the child abuse scandal were mishandled. SOME CASES? Every single case was mishandled. When someone in the church, the archaic institution that claims to represent a LOVING and JUST GOD, found out about a priest or nun hurting children the only acceptable response is to go to the fucking police and get that piece of shit away from humanity. Instead these kiddie diddler enablers covered it up and moved the kiddie diddlers to other parishes. Where, surprisingly, they KEPT DIDDLING KIDS. Then this fucking throwback to the dark ages had the balls to blame American society. Mentioning porn specifically. Guess what asshole I like porn. Guess how many little kids I've diddled. ZERO. Guess that means I'm a better person then all those priests. You know GOD'S FUCKING REPRESENTATIVES ON EARTH. If that's who really represents GOD I might have to switch from agnostic to atheist. Because I don't need that kind of god. And I'm a better man than you because when I blame the church its because large portions of the church conspired to help keep these fucks knee deep in 8 year old, not because of the environment it creates. Besides maybe if these sick fucks saw a little porn showing CONSENTING ADULTS fucking, maybe they wouldn't have fucked little kids. Everyone in the church who sat on their ass and did nothing, knowing this was happening is an accessory to it all. And if there is a GOD and if there is a hell they will be ass raped by giant atheist dicks.

And don't worry, one day you'll get to hell too. Just for trying to pass the buck to "secular" "sexualized" society. Because I'm sure even Jesus doesn't love you, or the pieces of human garbage directly involved in those countless horrendous crimes against the most vulnerable members of your "flock".

San Francisco airport kills babies (and puppies)

2008-04-06T16:42:00.002-05:00

Recently I went on vacation to San Diego. I had a great time. The zoo out there made me love zoos again (I haven't liked zoos since I was 7). My lazy fat ass walked around there for 6 hours and I didn't want to stop. The flights out sucked, but coach always suck, I'd assume it sucks even if you aren't a fat fuck. We were flying back and we had what was supposed to be a 4 hour lay over in San Francisco. We were all tired so we figured we'd eat at the airport and catch our plane home. First we find out we have to exit the secured area to get from the terminal we were at to the terminal Northwest flies out of (the first leg of the trip was on United). What a pain in the ass, I mean what kind of airport in this era of heightened security requires passengers to leave a secure area to get to another secured area. Its just foolish.

On our way out we see a sign that says restaurants and shopping and we briefly think about stopping and eating. We decide that we'll just eat at our terminal. So we leave terminal 3 and head to terminal 1. Only we have to go through the empty terminal 2. By empty I don't mean no one was there, I mean empty as it who ever flew out that terminal doesn't do so any longer. It was like the fucking Langoliers in there. We get to terminal one and check in on one of those oh-so-useful self check in kiosks. Thankfully our luggage was getting moved over by united so we didn't have to worry about that. We get our tickets and low and behold it says check monitor under departure gate. Being the inexperienced flier I am (2nd trip I've ever flown), I didn't realize how ominous that was.

We go back through security, thankfully I didn't get wanded (I did at MSP on our way out). On our way we see another sign saying Restaurants and shopping and thankfully its pointing towards our terminal. By now we're all pretty hungry since its been about 12 hours since we had breakfast. We head up towards the Restaurants and shopping, only to be sadly disappointed. Maybe we're spoiled by our airport, which has a ton of food and stores available after you're checked through security. Or maybe we let the fact that the sign said RESTAURANTS fool us into thinking we'd have a choice as to where to eat. There was only 1 fucking restaurant (notice the lack of a pluralizing s). Some over priced sit down joint called Perry's. And the 1 fucking shop didn't sell food only shitty dew-dads and travel shit. Hey assholes I'm at the fucking airport I find it rather unlikely that there is much call for luggage and travel supplies. It's like selling a dating guide at a fucking whorehouse. So I sat down to a $17 plate of mediocre pasta and a $2.50 coke. The real kicker was that our flight got delayed. First the monitors said 1am, then 1:18 then 1:30.

Apparently Northwest, headquartered in Minnesota, doesn't know how to fucking deal with a few inches of snow so the plane we were taking was slow in leaving Minneapolis. So what should've been a 12:35 am departure got pushed back an hour. Meaning that instead of arriving at 6am we wouldn't be getting in until 7. So one of our rides backed out (6 of us travelled so we had arranged 2 rides). My brother's Mother in-law picked up him, his wife and me. But we didn't get to go straight home. We had to go to her house to get my brother's car and his wife's car. And we had to spend 20 minutes brushing them off. Dont' get me wrong, I appreciated the ride, but fuck I wanted to go home. By the time I got home it was 8:30, and by the time I was tired enough to sleep it was almost 11. Pretty late considering I had to work at 3, and get up by 2 at the absolute latest.

Blogger sucks ass

2008-03-14T00:03:00.005-05:00

As you've noticed (the 0 of you who read this) my blog looks like shit. This is because I attempted to publish it to my website (http://www.fatguyfriendly.com). But before I could do so I had to install an ftp server (easy enough filezilla is free) and I had to change my layout to default. What a horribly bland layout, but I figured what the hell. Sadly I can't publish to ftp because I get an error. I searched the forums for help and all I found was a bunch of other people with the same problem (it makes the folders but can't move the files themselves). So I contacted blogger for help. No dice. It's been almost a week and I haven't heard a peep. At this point I'm looking for alternative software that won't be too hard to implement (I found a nice open source app called b2evolution, but it requires sql). Hopefully I can find something so I can migrate the blog. Thus combining the 0 traffic to the blog with the 0 traffic to my site creating a mega site visited exclusively by me and people who make horrendous typos. Come on Google, we all expect better of you. Now if you'll excuse me I have to use like 9 google services for free, at the same time.

My Car still fucking hates me

2008-03-06T01:47:00.004-06:00

Right now I fucking hate my car. Last week it wouldn't start so I had to drive my brother's truck. I hate driving that giant fuck (its lifted) but I'm glad I have access to a back up. On Friday I took out my battery and brought it back to Checker to get a warrenty replacement. Sadly my first year is up so I get a prorated warrenty. BOO. But before I can even get a new battery they have to try and charge and test the old old. BOO. They tell me it'll take an hour so I run to the bank, go home and down a plate of dino nuggets (dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets are healthier and more delicious then regular nuggets, afaik). I then head back to Checker and walk in the door exactly 1 hour after I left. Yep its toast. Originally the guy who signed it in said I could prorated exchange it or get a refund. Well the guy behind the counter now says prorated exchange only. I say fine and shell out about 18 bucks to replace my shit ass battery I'd rather replace with a good brand. I get it home and in my car. It starts right up and I'm on my way to work.

That night when I go to leave it won't fucking start. I had to get a jump from one of the guards (thanks again Joan). All weekend its fine (except on Sunday when we loosened the connection trying to get my socket off the negative terminal, it got stuck when I took the old battery out). Once we got it locked back on it was tits. So I figured Friday night was an isolated incident. Wrong, well kind of. Monday night I go to leave work and its not starting. I let it sit for a few minutes and then it groaned to life. Now I'm getting a little pissed. I go to start it for work on Tuesday and its a little slow to take. So about 8:30 when I wanted to grab a candy bar over at SA I decide to take the car rather than walk, just so I can fire it up. It has trouble starting. But eventually I get it going. At SA I'm afraid to turn it off (its a 30 second drive), but I do. As soon as I do I remote start it and leave it running while I'm in the store. I get it back to the lot at work without problem (well it sounded pretty rough while it was running in the parking lot at SA). That night it fires up, almost without issue and it's been working fine since.

The sad part is this has all happened before. The last 2 winters have been marred by my car's inability to work properly. During both of those winters I had similar issues and just when I thought everything was fine, BAM, it won't start. So in a few days I expect to be stranded somewhere with a car that won't start, leading to an expensive repair. Only made the worse this year because I want to get a more economical car. I have a '90 Sedan Deville, which gets 180 or so miles off of 16 gallons of premium. On the freeway its great, I got 400+ miles out of a tank when the first 300 was on my way back from Crookston, but it sucks on city streets. I'm planning on getting a cheap 2000 - '04 Honda Civic (or similar) when I get back from vacation, but that won't be for a month.

American News Center 55401

2008-03-06T01:02:00.003-06:00

About 6 weeks ago I wrote a letter to the editor of the St. Paul Pioneer press in response to a letter I saw on the letters page. I guess they ran it (on January 19th, I'll explain how I know that in a bit). I didn't think about it after I sent it, and I didn't even know it got printed, until much later. On February 8th I got a letter in the mail. I should've know something wasn't right based solely on the stamp in the corner. Smiling at me, looking slightly more realistic then when he was president, was Ronnie Reagan. Upon opening this cornacopia of right wing propaganda I found the following;
A Wizard of Id crudely edited to make it an anti-John Kerry cartoon (whatever nimrod edited it couldn't figure out how to spell "you" spelling it yuo).

An editorial cartoon about Eric Rudolph (that right wing nut job who bombed Olympic Park) adding "To be a democrat!" to the original title of "Four Easy Steps". Ironic no?

Part of a blog from February of last year that shows that Dianne Feinstein's husband's company makes money as a defense contractor. He not only cut out just this section (its a half page) he also wrote DEMOCRAT in red ink (felt tip I believe) with a line pointing to her name. A.) I'm not a democrat and B.) even if I was I'm not surprised when any politician makes their friends and family rich at the expense of society.

Another is a blog post attacking earmarks, specifically ones by Don Young of Alaska (Democrat). I agree ear marks are bad, so why did I get this? I guess I got it because I attacked the over spending of the current Republican administration.

Last, but not least, is a two sider. On one side is a story from the Washington Times (right wing version of the Washington Post) saying a study shows the Dems are the party of the rich. It doesn't mention that the group the did the study (The Heritage Foundation, they forgot to capitalize "The" btw) is a right wing "think" tank. They also didn't mention that demographers have established that the areas of heavy democrat concentration are also home to higher IQs. Or that the Republican strong hold, the bible belt, has some of the poorest counties in the country (shocking I know, religion prevelant among the poor, the question is which caused which).

The back side Talks about John Edwards (whom I actually like btw). It was that a hedge fund he invested in has been tied to subprime lenders who foreclosed on victims of Hurricane Katrina. But it also says that once he was informed of what Fortress Investment Group (company that actually received funding from the hedge fund) had been doing he vowed to take all of his money out of the hedge fund. How the hell is that an attack on his ethics? When you invest in a hedge fund you get a list of investments, but not what they do, along with its ROI. The only way he could've known was to personnally investigated every company that had invested in at that time. And then if they didn't fund FIG until later he wouldn't have any idea. As soon as he found out they were bad, he pulled his money. Thats good ethics. Its not like Chaney and the boys with Haliburton. Or any asshole who invests in gun companies. My favorite part of this is that it is from the New York Post, which is owned by Rupert Murdoch.

I thought all this shit was pretty funny, but my brother got a little worried (he has a pregnant wife). I then got pissed. I wondered how this idiot got my address. Since I'm not listed (the phone isn't in my name) and I couldn't find my address with a google search I assumed the St. Paul Pioneer press gave it out. Especially since after googling "American News Center 55401" I found some blog posts of other people targeted by this nut job (he used a slightly different name). I didn't some searching to find if they had printed my letter and when, when I found out it turned up on Friday January 19th I emailed the Pioneer Press and complained. The woman I talked to when I originally sent in the article contacted me. She said she was the only person there who had my address (they needed it to verify I was real I guess) and that she certainly didn't give it out. I'm willing to believe her, but I'm still suspicious (for anyone outside of Minnesota the Pioneer Press is the more right leaning paper, while the Minneapolis Star Tribune is a little more left, but is called the star and sickle by some local right wingers).

I'm just glad he didn't use bombs like his pal Eric Rudolph (God that irony is funny isn't it?).

My other beef with Lord of the Rings

2008-01-31T00:58:00.000-06:00

I hate the devotion to royalty in LotR. I understand it's needed for the story, but damn could Tolkien (and every other Brit) stop crushing quite so hard on royalty?

Why is it that Aragorn is destined to be a great king? Oh yeah, because his ancenstors sucked at it. Wait that makes absolutely no sense. Here is a character who lives like the fucking unibomber, as have his ancestors for a thousands of years, but because before that they ruled a great kingdom he is automatically the most qualified person to lead now. Wow. What a giant steaming load of shit. If all Brits thought like this it would be no wonder they were treated like shit by their rulers for milenia.

Now I'm not saying he couldn't be the best choice (or isn't), but birthright has jack fuck to do with it.

Carl Pohlad is the cheapest fuck ever

2008-01-29T23:53:00.000-06:00

We, the tax payers of Minneapolis, were duped into paying for a stadium for him (the richest single owner in all of baseball). I never supported paying for a stadium. Unless the terms guarantee we get paid back before he sees a dime (since HIS team gains value just by having a shiny new home). But that's not the deal. I believe the current deal is we pay for most of it and then he pulls the giant rubber cock he used to fuck us out of our ass. Stopping only to use our tongue to wipe it off. This has been my stance from day 1. Now I feel vindicated (and raped) by the fact that he has proven how cheap he is by not resigning the most important Twins player ever (I loved Kirby growing up, but a two time Cy Young winner makes him look almost as unimportant as Matthew LeCroy). All because he was too cheap to pony up an extra 3 million dollars (over 5 fucking years, which is I believe less than he pays those 12 year old Peruvian children to wax his sack). Santana is the best pitcher in baseball. And he was willing to stay if given 100 million over 5 years. That is a ton of money, but less than he could get anywhere else. Pohlad's tight ass came up with 97 million. That's it, the coin purse ran dry after that. So now the Twins are giving him up for 4 shitty prospects. None of whom is higher than second AT THEIR POSITION on the Mets own scouting reports. They didn't even give up their top pitching prospect. Pohlad got fucked by the Mets, but he was balls deep in every Twins fan at the time. Oh and of course this was after the raping over the stadium.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. The day that new stadium WE paid for opens I will be there demanding my free seat. Until that day I won't watch a single pitch of baseball. Long before the season starts I will burn my Twins hat (half time of the super bowl in case anyone wants to swing by and watch). Not only have the Twins lost a fan (a paying customer btw) but so has baseball. All because of their unwillingness to foster competition (HOW ABOUT A SALARY CAP YOU RETARDED FUCKS?).

I'm not sure if there is a God, but I hope there is only so that after Pohlad (and the assholes who spent my money to build him a stadium) dies he can go to hell and suffer. And if there is, my heaven would be stopping by the last Tuesday of every month to shove a baseball bat up his ass.

Damn you Sony!

2008-01-05T02:52:00.000-06:00

Today Sony won the High Definition movie war. By swaying Warner Bros. to the dark side exclusively they've now got a 5 to 2 studio lead to go with their lead in disc sales. This means that prices won't continue to drop (on players or movies) since Sony is the sole owner of the Blu-Ray format. While HD DVD was a consortium (lead by Toshiba) Blu-Ray is all Sony. These greedy whores have been trying to own a format for 30 years. Thankfully the only successful format they backed (until now) was CD, which was co-owned by Philips. Everything else (beta, minidisc, memory stick, atrac, umd) has failed miserably. Ok memory stick is still around, but only in Sony devices and umd is dead as a movie format (unless they start forcing it down our throats by requiring it be bundled with Blu-Ray, raising the price of movies, which they could). This only leaves New Line as a fence sitter, and they are only quasi major, plus they are a sister company of WB. Lets hope they stay neutral long enough to give me Lord of the Rings on HD DVD. Prefferably directors cut.

eBay, how much can you suck?

2008-01-05T02:32:00.000-06:00

I bid on a movie on eBay. It was listed as sealed, with no condition selected so I thought it was new. Stupid me, it was used. So I contacted the seller and asked them to cancel my bid, since I didn't want to be a total ass and just remove it myself. Hell ebay doesn't even tell you that its possible to remove your own bids, but it is as long as the auction has more than 12 hours left. This auction had 2 days left. Well I won. Then the seller contacted me and said, essentially, tough shit, pay up. So I left a negative feedback, but I paid. Then after my payment is accepted this king of the asshat douchebags left me a negative feedback, in retaliation (unless paying in a timely fashion is now an eBay faux paus). I contacted them and let them know it wasn't cool to leave me a negative feedback just because they were unhappy with my feedback (thats why you can reply to feedback). I expected to get strong armed (withdraw my feedback to get them to withdraw theirs). That didn't happen. The seller refunded my money. Which is good enough for me. The real kicker is that since they gave me my money back I'd like to remove my feedback but can't. I can only ask them to mutually withdraw both our feedbacks. Yep thats right if they want no feedback they have to withdraw their negative for me. Mafia justice isn't rampant on ebay, it's policy.

The most frustrating part though was eBay support. Not only do they know of the mafia style justice rampant in the feedback system they claim there is nothing they can do. On the plus side they added my issue to the FAQ, so I'm totally taking credit for that.

Senator Norm Coleman, Asshole for sale

2007-12-22T23:53:00.001-06:00

I sent an email to my "esteemed" sellout, I mean Senator, in regards to giving immunity to the big telcos that handed out our records to a simple request from the government (a warrent should be required). Here is his response (in italics) followed by my response.

"Thank you for taking the time to contact me regarding the proposal for immunity for telecommunication companies included in the modernization of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA). I respectfully disagree with your view on this matter.

I believe that it is unfair to penalize companies for responding to written assurances from the highest levels of the government that their help is legal and essential for saving lives. The immunity provision will only apply to companies if they have official documents from the government demonstrating the activities were deemed legal and authorized by the President. I would also point out that the Senate Intelligence Committee looked into this matter and found that the telecom companies acted in "good faith" based on the information they had.

Whether the government acted properly is a different question from whether a private person has acted properly in responding to the government's call for help. I have supported efforts to investigate the legality of the wireless surveillance program, and believe that if any wrongdoing is found, measures should be taken accordingly.

As you may know, the FISA Amendments Act of 2007 (S. 2248) was introduced by Senator Jay Rockefeller (D-WV) on October 26, 2007 . This bill seeks to amend the FISA Act of 1978 in order to modernize and streamline its provisions, which is necessary for our country to enhance our nation's capability to prevent future terrorist attacks. S. 2248 also includes a retroactive liability protection for telecommunication companies that assisted our government in a warrantless surveillance program in the aftermath of the September 11th terrorist attacks on the U.S. The bill was approved by the Intelligence Committee on a bipartisan bas i s and currently awaits consideration by the full Senate.

I support national intelligence activities undertaken by the federal government which are lawful and necessary for the pursuit of terrorists. I recognize that we need to strike a balance between preventing another terrorist attack and defending civil liberties. For this reason I am a strong proponent of Congressional oversight of surveillance activities.

I will continue to follow this important issue. While we may agree on some issues and disagree on others, I appreciate hearing from you and hope you will not hesitate to contact me on any issue of concern to you.

Sincerely,Norm ColemanUnited States Senate"

So when a company violates my constitutional rights it’s ok. As long as the government did it first. Way to look out for the people who put you in Washington. Verizon, Sprint, AT&T etc. Wait no, that was Minnesotans. Some of whom may've had their rights trampled by an overzealous government with the collaboration of companies that don't care about their customers.

Sadly the only company that didn't buckle like a belt for the Bush administration and their thugs in the justice department was Qwest, who suck for a myriad of other reasons. But hey at least they didn't ass rape their customers privacy

HD DVD packages

2007-11-28T19:04:00.001-06:00

I have the HD DVD attachment for my 360 and I really like it. I just hate they way they sell HD DVDs. The worst problem is the stupid combo formats. For those of you lucky enough to not know what the fuck that is, its a single disc with 1 side being HD DVD and the other being regular DVD. Supposedly the theory was that someone somewhere would buy this before they had an HD DVD player to "future proof" their collection. There are 3 problems with this.
1. If you don't have an HD DVD player you aren't gonna spend $35 at bestbuy on a single fucking movie, just in case you get one eventually and you want it.
2. Even if you were that fucking dumb you still wouldn't do it becuase you don't know what will win Blu-Ray or HD DVD.
3. If you already have an HD DVD player (like me) YOU DON'T FUCKING WANT THE SAME GOD DAMNED MOVIE IN REGULAR DVD. WTF DO THEY THINK I'M GONNA DO POP OUT THE MOVIE AND SAY TO MYSELF GEE, MAYBE I WANT TO SEE THE FUCKING REGULAR VERSION AT 480P ON MY 37" HDTV. YEAH THAT'LL LOOK GREAT. FUCKING ASSHOLES

It wouldn't be so bad if the movies that are "Combo Format" (which from now on I'll call retarded) were also available in just HD. They used to be. Superman Returns is available in just HD, but its harder to find. When you do find it, its like $5 cheaper, which is still a rip. The truth is most regular HD DVDs are $19.95 (at Amazon, $24.99 in stores) while retarded ones are $27.99 ($34.99 in stores). Meaning if the regular version is available I could save about $10 on them. Raping me for an extra $10 a movie makes it fucking hard for me to build up my collection, and it makes it hard for me to root for this shit to beat Sony and Blu-Ray.

And then theres Transformers. I like the movie a lot, but I'm still wondering why the only HD DVD version available is a 2 disc set. That second disc FUCKING SUCKS. Way to gouge me for $10 for a wothless disc of extras. I put it in for exactly 5 seconds before I tired of it. If you want to include a second disc and make me feel like I wasn't anally raped, sans lube of any kind, then have Megan Fox do a strip tease or something and make it exclusive to that disc. That'll move some extra copies. And make some preverts buy hd dvd players (even ones without HDTVs).

On top of that some movies I'd really love to have are only available as part of box sets. The fucking matrix is only available if I buy all 3. I don't want all three, I like the first 1 and I hate the other fucking 2. I hate the other 2 so much I still want my fucking money back from seeing them in the theater. I hate the other 2 so fucking much that if I ever met Keanu Reeves I HAVE to kick him in the dick. I hate the other 2 so fucking much that I really wanted V for Vendetta to suck so I could ignore the fact those 2 asshole brothers even exist. I hate the other 2 so much (and like the first one so much) that I almost paid $40 with shipping to get it on ebay. Used. Thankfully Warner Bros. fixed their shit, cause they're making Harry Potter available individually. And whoever in the fuck distributes the Bourne series is making them available individually too.

3 day weekend

2007-11-14T00:23:00.000-06:00

It has been a long while since I updated my blog, but hey I am lazy. Since I have a 3 day weekend (something even I ...whats that word for not hate? or yeah love. something even I love) I figured I should do a little updating. Tonight will be short as I have very little hatred to spew today.

As many of you know (like anyone other than me reads this shit) I have a website. It is plain and isn't updated regularly at all (shocking!). Lately I've been getting a ton of spam. I had a spam filter installed but it always worked for shit. Then it started crashing. So instead of getting 10 or 12 spam messages a day (which is a ton considering how little traffic my site gets) I was getting 50 or 60. Then after I tried to tweak it it started crashing constantly. Meaning I was getting a couple hundred spam messages a day. Most of these were caught by my email client but the handful that weren't starting bothering me. So I uninstalled my mail server software, removed the link to it from my homepage and updated my site reflecting my temporary lack of email. Then I find a great free alternative so fast that I have to edit my news update and add new links to my homepage. Talk about a pain in the ass (yes thats right, I even bitch when things work out).

Now the real question is what is dorkier; my rant against elves or my rant about my mail server?

Cleaning the bathroom

2007-10-08T01:04:00.000-05:00

I am a lazy son of a bitch. I have never denied this fact, I might be tempted to try and deny it but it is so apparent to anyone who has spent more than 5 seconds with me that it would be pointless to do so. Since I am lazy I hate doing any kinds of chores. But I especially hate cleaning the bathroom. It's not hard, or really time consuming but I still hate the shit out of it (yes that right a shit joke when I'm writing about bathrooms, I'm classy). I'd rather do almost anything, well except become a male prostitute. That would suck (yep 2 classy jokes in one post, I'm awesome). This may be even more rambling and worthless than my usual posts, but it has kept me from having to clean the bathroom for a couple of minutes, so it is a small victory for procrastinating lazy s.o.b.s the world over. It also gave me the chance to screw around with firefox running from a thumbdrive (2 classy jokes then I geek it up, maybe I'm not awesome).

People who leave stuffed animals and flowers at the scene of a death

2007-09-08T21:12:00.001-05:00

Its sad when a little kid dies. The fact that people want to mourn that death, thats great but leaving flowers or stuffed animals is retarded. If you really want to honor their memory give the teddy bear to a kid in a need or give the money to a charity that helps kids. Especially if the kid is one you wouldn't have given money to while they were alive. Because lets face it people aren't likely to give bears to random kids on the street.

Whats even worse is when morons leave flowers for dead celebrities. Hey asshole they were rich, their actual friends are rich, they can afford to buy flowers. And oh yeah they're dead, your flowers do nothing but die too (good metaphor actuality). Do some good with your money.

Haha

2007-08-30T02:07:00.000-05:00

In case you blinked you missed a show called "Anchorwoman" on Fox (home of the Simpsons and 95 crap reality shows) was cancelled after 1 episode. The show centered on a former Playboy Playmate who was brought into a Texas TV station to boost ratings. Not as the spokes model (which she is probably qualified for) but as a news anchor. I'm not saying I want ugly anchors (that chick on channel 5 is argument enough against that). But I am saying that if you have to ask how to pronounce Al-Qaeda then you shouldn't be doing the fucking news. They tried to make this vapid, idiotic, whore a heroine. I don't mean whore as in she if fucking people for money (not that there is anything wrong with that) but whore as in she is being used for her body. I have no problem with hot chicks doing that either, but for the love of Jebus don't make the news 100% about looks. Hell I'm sure the chicks over at naked news are more qualified than this bitch. I don't feel at all bad for her. She left her cushy lifestyle in LA and lived a cushy life in Texas for a little while. I'm sure she's now back to going to parties in the hills are talking about how she is modeling but wants to get into acting or maybe helping the animals.

I feel bad for anyone qualified who can't find work because they aren't quite pretty enough. They may even be good looking, but just not quite good looking enough. They are...a 7 instead of a 9. This is of course indicative of how bad our media has become in this country. But that rant will be covered later.

The funniest part is that this station is in Texas. You know one of those "morality" states that are seriously considering including creationism, I mean "Intelligent Design" into their school curriculum. I'd rant about this idiocy, but it's covered so well by so many people (Pharyngula and Bad Astronomy for example) that I won't waste my time. They're both scientists, while I'm just an angry geek with a computer (or 4).

How self esteem is ruining...well pretty much everything

2007-08-30T01:51:00.000-05:00

Self esteem, in small doses, can be great. It keeps you from becoming a prostitute, or a meth addict. But in the mass quantities people are now taught they should have it is a horrible thing. Self esteem is why that prick parked in a handicapped spot. He saw the sign, but he though "hey I'm fucking awesome, this rule doesn't apply to me". So he parked there. If I was given a ticket book I would spend my time off doing nothing but ticketing pricks who do this. Not to mention the assholes who other wise park illegally. They think "Well I'm only going to be in the store for a minute, so I'll slap on my hazards and call it good". No dick, park your fucking car in a spot and then walk your lazy ass to the door. If I can waddle my fat ass from the far end of the parking lot so can you Mr. I feel great about myself. Or sometimes these abortions that got away park directly in front of a no parking sign and then bitch if they are the lucky winner of the "cop not too busy to write a ticket" lottery. "I was only there for 5 minutes" they whine like a two year old whose blankie is in the dryer. There are 2 things wrong with that argument (used as an excuse for any of the above parking fuck ups). 1. you weren't only there for 5 minutes. Generally if they say 5 minutes they mean 20. 2. It's not illegal (and rude) to park there for longer than 5 minutes, but to park there at all. What would these wastes of humanity (can't we send just them to war?) if I broke into their house, tied them up, beat their kids to death and raped and murdered their wife in front of their eyes leading up to me beating them until my arms got tired and I used "I was only there for 5 minutes as an excuse"?

There are more societal wrongs caused by self esteem, but to be honest I think that was a pretty strong close so lets leave it at that. For now.

Assholes at the movies

2007-08-30T01:43:00.000-05:00

This may become a series of posts (assholes in traffic, assholes in stores, assholes inline at the grocery store, etc.). I hate fuckers that talk during movies. I'm not talking a snide comment here or there, of which I know I'm guiltier than most, but fuckers holding entire God Damn conversations loud enough for the entire theater to hear. Tonight I saw Balls of Fury (it was pretty good btw) and these fucking highschool kids in the back of the theater talked so loudly during all the trailers that I heard them in the 3rd damn row. Since they shut up when the actual movie started I didn't snap at them as I am prone to do but they still annoyed the piss out of everyone in the theater. Hell some other kids the same age were so annoyed they moved down by us just to get away from the retards. Thats 2 movies in a row I've had to hear a bunch of fucking loser kids act like lords of the manor. I blame self esteem (rant on this next on the agenda). Fucking schools.

Elves, yes elves

2007-08-09T16:33:00.001-05:00

I am a geek. I have never hidden that fact. Because of that I have strong feelings on subjects normal people consider stupid. This is one of those instances.

I hate elves. I love LotR, but I have 2 giagantic beefs with it. The first is elves. They are smarter, prettier, faster, more agile, more magical, better fighters and wiser than humans. And oh yeah, they LIVE FOREVER. Unless they die valiantly helping their retarded half cousins, humans. Not to mention their senses are also much better than ours. There is absolutely nothing we are, or can be, better at than elves and it pisses me off. On top of that most of them are elitest jack asses who treat other species like children. Petty emotions like fear are beneath them. To sum up my argument, they suck because they never suck at anything.

Thats why I like dwarves. Sure they're stronger than us, and live longer, but they suck at a lot of stuff. They're short, stubby, bearded malcontents whose only goals in life are to drink and hoard valuables. They are as imperfect, if not more imperfect, than humans. But just like humans they have to fight their nature to get anything constructive accomplished.

I will explore my other beef with LotR later.

The dead

2007-08-06T03:46:00.000-05:00

I hate when people say you shouldn't speak ill of the dead. If someone was a fuck nut in life them managing to have the good sense to die doesn't stop them from being a fuck nut. Ford was a fuck nut. He pardoned Nixon for no good reason and when he died all the people who called for his head spoke of his "uniting the country". Which is bullshit. People who hated Nixon and what he did, still hated Nixon and what he did, they just also hated Ford for being a gutless do nothing simpering political bitch. But since he died its mean to point out how big a fuck nut he was in life :(.

Of course my personal favorite, Reagan. He hated minorities and the poor. He thought if you were poor it was your fault, and nothing but your fault. Couldn't be any other reason for it. He was a grand standing, know nothing, vapid, classicist douche bag. It kills me that he had Alzheimer's in office and every acts like it was the cutest thing. The leader of the free world forgetting who the fuck he is at times isn't cute, its scary. If Clinton had Alzheimer's that ass clown Hannity would spend 5 minutes an episode on how it put the country at risk. Limbaugh would talk about how anyone with the disease should be in prison, then it would be revealed he has it and he isn't punished at all. For the love of Jebus I read an excerpt from Reagan's "journal" (polite way of saying man diary) and he talked about how he didn't like the scene in 9 to 5 where the ladies smoke weed. And how it would've been better if they just got drunk. Yea 1 addictive substance, boo another arbitrarily! I'm proud we were the only state with enough sense in '84 to not vote for Reagan, it shows we had our shit together.

This isn't the full list of course, just the two that raised my ire enough for some word smithing this evening. Expect future attacks on Nixon, Woodrow Wilson, and even FDR and JFK!

Anger shall spew forth

2007-08-06T01:41:00.000-05:00

On this very page anger shall spew forth like a raging torrent of ... well anger I guess. Sadly the address I wanted was taken by a right wing nut job who has been in hiding for 2 years (probably came to his senses and fled the interweb in shame). I don't know how often I will update, but I can promise rancor.